Many The Miles
by ninjabread-helen
Summary: Sometimes even the strongest of ties are tested when unexpected circumstances interrupt the fairytale. AU. Please read and review xx
1. I Hear Thunder

**I don't own Robin Hood**

The thunder crashed outside louder than ever. It shook the house and Marian sat blot upright in bed with a gasp. She held her head and groaned.

What was she doing? She always slept through thunderstorms ever since she was a little girl. But tonight something was different.

She couldn't get back to sleep. She tossed and turned but her eyes were apposed to rest. She was beginning to think she was awake for a reason. She looked at her watch. Half past 3. She moaned again. It was the weekend but she really needed her sleep.

She got up and checked she had switched all the lights and appliances off. She had paid all the bills, met all her deadlines and had been to all of her appointments and meetings. She couldn't put her finger on it. She had never had trouble sleeping before and nothing had changed since last night. With her body reluctant she went back to bed she looked at her watch. 4o'clock. This was never going to work she thought as she fell against the pillow.

Lightning lit up the bedroom from behind the curtains and Marian screamed. What was wrong with her? She was never scared of thunder but now she felt so alone and felt she was sat in a house that had been abandoned many years before.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Marian sat up and thought she was hearing things. That the gate was slamming in the wind or it was thunder in the distance. No there it was again. She pulled the covers up to her chin. The knocking continued.

She sighed "Come on Marian pull yourself together" She grabbed her dressing gown and left her bedroom "You will not become one of those neurotic people who are prisoners in their own home" her silk dressing gown billowing behind her she ran down the stairs and walked into the hall. She unlocked the door and opened it.

"Marian?" the man shouted against the rain and thunder. Marian was confused. Who wanted what with her at this time in the morning?

"Yes?" she stepped outside into the rain. She didn't want some strange man in her house.

The man lowered his hood and stepped into the porch light. "Remember me?"

**Please Review**

**Xxx Ly Helen**


	2. Just Shoot Me

**I don't own Robin Hood**

**Thank you for everyone who reads =]**

"Robin?" Marian wondered aloud. The man smiled and ran his hand through his already soaking hair. "Robin!" she said again and she through herself into a hug with him. "Come in, come in" she said ushering him into the house and closing the door. The house suddenly felt alive and full to bursting point.

Robin stood in the hall creating a puddle of water around his feet. His hair was matted and clung to his head. His clothes were darkened with the rainwater and his face was red with cold. He looked at Marian like a lost puppy. She snapped her self out of the trance he had put her in and realised the puddle he was creating was getting bigger.

"I'll go get you a towel" she said "because you're all wet," she stated. She suddenly realised what she said and corrected herself swiftly "Cold! I… I mean cold! God!" she hung her head in shame and ran up the stairs to fetch a towel. Robin watched her as she ran in embarrassment. That was his girl.

She came back down with towels and ran to the kitchen for a mop. "Erm… why don't you just strip and we'll get you cosy eh?" she froze as the words she could not control fell from her lips. "I mean because you have to get out of the wet clothes" Robin hung his head and tried not to laugh then looked at her from under his wet fringe.

"Why don't I just take these?" he said taking the towels from Marian's hands "and you go put the kettle on I'm freezing" Marian smiled and nodded dimly.

"Yes. Yes. Yes" she repeated softly and quietly as she went back into the kitchen.

What the hell was she doing? He was back from God knows where in the middle of the night from 3 years of no communication not even a post card and he was all of a sudden in her hallway dripping wet looking as good as ever and she was acting like an extra from the psycho ward in Rain Man.

She paced up and down the kitchen and tried to pull what was left of her together. She remembered the tea and shaking filled the kettle and put it on.

Robin came though wearing a clean pair of linen trousers and a green vest top. His hair was messy with towel drying it but his face was still red.

"Hey" he said as he stood in the doorway "I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this" Marian was still in shock and another seizer seemed to hit her when she saw his hair. She always loved his hair like that and usually it was her fault it ended up like that.

"No of course not." She nearly screamed it and turned back to her tea making to try and calm herself down. She coughed "so do you make a habit of this?" she asked looking back to Robin.

"Pardon?" he said.

"You know like knocking on girls doors in the middle of the night and trying to scare them half to death thinking you're a rapist or something." Marian's laugh was surprisingly normal for a woman in her condition.

"Oh no it's just I got in the taxi at the airport and he said 'where too?' and I just gave him your address. I didn't have anywhere else to go" Robin said shyly

"Well come sit down and tell me everything" Marian took the mugs into the living room and beckoned him in. "It's not everyday a long lost friend of 3 years turns up on your door step" another crash of thunder and Marian jumped again. Robin sat on the edge of the sofa and took his tea and held it to his face to get warm. "Oh you poor thing I'll go get a blanket and we can have a good chat. Doesn't look like I was going to get much sleep anyway." Marian disappeared upstairs once again and left Robin contemplating how surprisingly nice Marian was being since he basically abandoned her 3 years previous. But he couldn't seem to get the word _friend_ out of his head. That's all he was now a_ friend._

Marian came back down stairs with the quilt from her bed and sat down on the sofa letting it drape over their bodies "So" she said getting comfortable "Where have you been? What's been going on?" she asked.

"Ok well when I left I went to London. Then went to Spain and did some holiday repping. Then it was Ibiza I think working in a bar, that didn't go down to well, .it got closed down, prostitutes, drugs and the like. Which I will never understand because all the bars down there do it. Erm… Travelled round America with some friends. Then did a year's charity work in Africa. That was the best by far. And now I'm back here." Marian looked at Robin in amazement. He had managed to do everything he had ever wanted to do in 3 short years and she couldn't even learn how to use her espresso machine. She was eager to learn more. She started at the beginning.

"So why did you leave me?" that was the final straw. They should just shoot me now she thought. She couldn't believe she didn't register the stupidity of the question before it had left her lips. She heard it echo in her head and it sounded as if she was asking someone what they wanted to eat. Oh this was bad. She was mortified. They were both suffocated with the awkwardness that filled the air and Robin wouldn't even look at her.

"Well I think we'll need something stronger than this if we're going to have this conversation." Robin said lifting his mug up. Trying to make her feel less embarrassed.

Let's not start at the very beginning. It's not a very good place to start.

**Hehe lol. Drunken conversations where everything comes out. Love them. And you will too. So review please and I might update =D**

**Xxxx ly Helen**


	3. Quick And Painful

**Thank You for all that read =]**

Marian got up and went to the kitchen. How could she be so stupid? She asked herself as she reached for the vodka. Well this conversation had to happen eventually she thought as she unscrewed the bottle and poured it into two glasses giving generous amounts to each. They were going to need it.

She came back through with the drinks and handed one to Robin and got herself comfy again. "So why did you come back?" she asked before he could start the story of how he had left without a trace.

"Well to be honest I got bored. I just wanted to be home. Back to normality and start getting some real life back together. When I was out on the road it was fun but I never really felt…" Robin paused and looked into his glass and took and swig.

"Felt what?" Marian asked

"Loved" he said plainly. "Everyone says it's the best experience you can have to travel the world and see everything. But without someone to share it with it's pointless" Robin fiddled with the tag on the quilt and took another gulp of his drink. Marian looked down. It was all her fault she thought. She made him leave. She had pushed him away.

A sigh from the other end of the sofa woke Marian from her memories and another lightning strike lit up the room followed closely by thunder that seemed to go on forever. Marian cowered in the quilt and Robin put his arm around her and carried on with his story.

"So after I had done all I could in Africa I just came home. Well at least that was the plan until I realised I have no home any more. That's why I came here I hoped you would put me up for the night." Robin asked indirectly and he looked at Marian with wide eyes.

"Of course" she said "Oh it would be just like old times when we all used to have sleepovers" she stood up and tried to keep her balance as she walked towards the kitchen and more vodka.

"You're such a lightweight Marian!" Robin called after her. Marian came back through with the vodka and coke.

"I believe the term used to be a cheap night out" Marian sat down and put the contents of her arms on the coffee table. "In more that one sense" she added unscrewing the lid of the vodka and filling the glasses once more.

"Yeah" Robin admitted taking the glass of vodka and adding some coke. "But you'll always be my Maz" Robin said tickling her in the side. Marian's heart skipped a beat. It had been 3 years since someone called her that and she wanted nothing more than to rip off his clothes and for it to be like old times again. But she had to remember the reason for the vodka. She turned to Robin and acted drunker than she was in order to put up a barrier for the bullet of a story that was about to unfold from those gorgeous lips. But before she could ask him what she had wanted to ask him for 3 years another thunder clap came from outside. Marian screamed at the shock and fell off the sofa. Silence, in the utter humiliation of the whole night rolled into one she didn't dare move.

"Maz? You dead?"

"Yes. I'm dead" laughter exploded from both their bodies. Marian pulled herself back up to the sofa. Robin grabbed her arms and drew her closer to help her. She was inches away from his lips. Inches away from being back to normal. But what could ever be normal? Marian drew back and swept her hair from her face.

"So you were telling me about when you left" she was careful to leave out the "me" part and put up the acting drunk barrier just in case.

"Ah" Robin said. This was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. He couldn't tell her. It would kill her. He looked into her eyes. They were full of wonder and also looked quite scared when he had sighed like that. He downed his drink. Like ripping off a plaster. Quick and painless. He took a deep breath.

"The day I left you and I were still going out but I had cheated on you with some girl at the bar and I couldn't face coming back to see you and telling you this so I ran. I ran like a cowered and I know I shouldn't have run away and I should have told you and not even done it in the first place but I did and I'm so ashamed and till this day I still am. Because I loved you Maz and I still do because I came back for you. 3 years away from you was torture and I tried to forget you. But none of it worked and so I joined Oxfam so I was doing some sort of good. I was fighting for you. It just got so lonely out there so I had to leave I had to find you. I'm so ashamed Marian. I really am sorry. For everything."

He was breathless and his eyes prickled with tears as he saw Marian's tears flowing freely. It was silent except from the heavy rain on the windows. She looked at her glass and emptied the contents down her throat. She stood up and placed the empty glass on the coffee table. She slowly made her way across the living room and opened the door.

"Marian please says something. Please?" Robin pleaded. Marian turned round and looked at him.

"You can stay on the sofa tonight. I'll be upstairs if you need me," She said with no emotion or tone and she closed the door. Robin looked back and sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair and tilted his head back on the sofa. It had defiantly been quick but far from painless.

**Oooo what will Marian's reaction be**

**Review please I do appreciate it xxx**

**Ly**

**Helen**


	4. The Morning After The Night Before

It was 6 in the morning and the storm still raged outside. Marian paced up and down her room wishing her tired and fuzzy brain would comprehend to the events just passed. He cheated. He cheated. The words echoed forever and pounded with every thunder strike. She just wanted to curl up under the covers and go right to sleep and forget the whole thing. She jumped onto the bed and reached out. No quilt.

"Bugger" she said, the word was sharp and hurt her head. He got the slut and now he got the quilt. She couldn't be bothered to get up and search for the other so she curled up as tight in the middle of the huge bed and sobbed into her pillow.

The storm had passed and both injured parties were recovering in their sleep.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

The sun broke threw the thin blinds that covered the large windows of the living room and cascaded on the face of the sleeping robin. He squinted and opened his eyes slowly. He looked round, sat up and swung his legs off the end of sofa and wiggled his toes trying to get the feeling back. He rubbed his face and yawned. A glance at the clock showed it was nearly half 11. He looked at the coffee table and the memory of last night came flooding back.

"Jesus" he whispered and began to clean up. He made coffee and took it up to her. It was the least he could do. He knocked lightly on her door but there was no answer. He poked his head round the door and his heart sank when he saw her spread over the bed with no cover she looked out of it so he put the coffee on the side table and wrote a note.

Marian woke up to find the quilt on top of her and the smell of coffee. She sat up and rubbed her eyes but the effort seemed to be too much and she let her arms drop back down. She looked the clock. 12 o'clock.

"Great" she looked back at the side table and saw coffee in the mug Robin had got her from Alton Towers when they went on a school trip. A note lay beside it. She read it and flew out of bed and grabbed the phone. Speed dial 2.

"Hello?" came the voice from the other end of the line

"Hey it's me"

"Hi Marian. You ok?"

"Yeah. Well. It's just…" she sighed as she looked back at the note.

"Marian what's happened?"

She sighed again "Robin's back"

"What?" Djaq shouted down the phone

"Yeah he turned up on my door step in the middle of the night" she got out of bed again and walked down the stairs.

"Will! Will! I'm going out will you be alright staying here?" Djaq shouted away from the phone

"Oh Djaq if Will spent the night don't come over."

"Hell no I'm coming over this is HUGE!" with that she hung up and Marian sighed and put the phone down. She was in the hall now and saw the bags that Robin had discarded the night before.

She walked into the living room expecting him to be sitting watching T.V but he wasn't. She screwed up her eyebrows and floated into the kitchen. Not there either. She tilted her head and tried to here water running from the bathroom but the house was silent.

"Robin?" she waited for an answer "Robin?" she shouted louder up the stairs. Still no answer. She looked back at the bags by the door. Well he had to be back for them so she went to get a shower and get dressed.

Marian unlocked the door and Djaq came in. "Hey. Oh are you ok?" she said sympathetically as she hugged her.

"Yeah I'm ok"

"Is he here?"

"No he's gone. Don't know where though" she said shrugging and pointing at the bags "but I expect he'll be back for them" they sat in the living room and Marian recalled the events of the night.

"He cheated?" Djaq said quietly.

"Yup" Marian was hunched forward and her hair covered her face.

"Oh Marian I'm sorry" she said and she put her arm around her "and he came back here thinking you would just let him sleep on your couch"

"Well I did" Marian said through tears "And he left this, this morning," she said handing Djaq the note left with coffee.

"Sorry for last night" Djaq read aloud "well at least it's a start"

"Exactly!" Marian stood up and started pacing the room "but he thinks this is the end" she said pointing at the piece of paper in Djaq's hand. "That he can just come back here and everything will be the same as it was when he left. But I haven't even begun to say what I need to say." Marian's breath was deep and her eyes wide.

"Of course Marian but you can't let him get you angry like this"

"Alright! Alright" she said and she stopped pacing the room "Thank you for coming round honey" and Djaq hugged her

"Ok well I have to get back to Will" she said with a smile

"Yes! Yes" Marian said "Go have hot sex with your amazing boyfriend"

"Marian!" Djaq was shocked at her friend's forwardness

"Go! Someone may as well be" Marian ushered her out the door and giggled

"You sure you're ok?"

"Yes Go! Go! I'll be fine" Marian closed the door and smiled. Djaq was always the one who could cheer her up. The door knocked again and Marian laughed. She opened the door

"Djaq I told you I was fi…" Marian was cut short as she saw who was actually standing there "Oh. Hi come in," she said. She wished Djaq were here.

"Thanks" Robin said

"So where did you get to this morning?" she asked trying not to get angry with his hot body that had crushed her life twice now.

"I was looking for apartments and scheduled a few showings for tonight"

"Oh great" Marian thought that was slightly mean "I mean getting appointments and everything. I hear their a bitch to schedule" she was digging herself deeper and she gave up before she was totally overcome. "So you want some tea?"

"Sure I'll go put the kettle on" Robin suggested "did you have a good day?" he called back as he walked to the kitchen

"Erm" not wanting to recall the day's events with him she lied "Yeah great" she hung her head as she remembered times when they told each other everything.

Marian positioned herself on the sofa and Robin came through with two cups of tea and placed them on the coffee table and sighed as he sat down. Marian wanted to waste no time telling Robin what she needed to say but she figured he better have a choice as to whether he wanted to hear it or not.

"I think we need…" Marian started but Robin cut her off

"So I was thinking…" Robin started but stopped when he realised he had interrupted Marian and suggested she go first but Marian refused thinking he was going to say the same as she was and he would be better saying it.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted to come look at the apartments with me but that would be weird right?" Marian was take aback with the offer as it was not the offer she expected but agreed as to hope for a bit of comforting normality before the surely heart wrenching trauma that would happen sooner or later.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

They went to visit every apartment together but each was worse than the last. The first had damp covering all walls. The second had cockroaches everywhere. The third was above a greasy take-away and the smell would make you loose your appetite forever and a day. The fourth and final apartment seemed much better and Robin was actually bordering on signing the deal when Marian ran from the bathroom screaming and refused to go back in due to the very questionable source of the moulding stain that spread from floor to wall and into the bath.

As Marian and Robin made their way back to her house he topped in front of an estate agents window scanning the apartments. Marian felt suddenly scared and latched onto Robin's arm.

"Marian what is it?" Robin asked and the words came to her as plainly as day.

"I want you to stay with me. At my house. There's loads of space. And you can have your own room. I don't want you staying in a place where you can catch some sort of disease just by looking at it." She said pointing to a particularly dirty looking flat in the window.

"Don't you think that would be weird?" Robin asked.

"Not if we didn't make it. Robin, please? I don't want you staying in that place. And it's not like where a couple. You're just my roommate." The words were sticky as she remembered he told her he loved her just the night before. Robin paused and looked at his and Marian's reflection in the window.

"Just a roommate?" he thought. "Things can change with time and patience. Just tread carefully" and with this silent advise he gave himself he agreed and they set off towards their home.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**On re-reading this chapter I see it is far too long but necessary as I have been away and have LOADS of ideas.**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**

**Ly**

**Xxx**

**Helen**


	5. You Make My Head Cloudy

**Thank you for my readers and reviewers.**

**Ly muchen =D**

Marian was wearing her hair dye t-shirt and some old jeans and her hair was tied up in a rough bun but Robin still thought she was a gorgeous as ever. She grabbed one end of a chest of drawers and looked round to see Robin standing in the doorway.

"Well don't just stand there like a rabbit caught in head lights come and help me move thing to my room." She said laughing and Robin obeyed. They had been moving Marian's "junk" as she called it out of the spare bedroom and into it's new home where ever it could be put.

"I knew there was a bed in hear somewhere," Marian exclaimed from behind some boxes and she peeked her head from her hidey-hole. "But I have no idea what's in these boxes" she said taking one down off the pile and opening it eagerly like a little girl at Christmas. Her heart sank when on the top of the pile was a picture of her and Robin on Nemesis at Alton towers. The same trip that Robin had bought her the mug. She sighed as she took it out and smiled at her terrified face and wild hair and Robin's huge grin. Robin had gone down for "sustenance for the soldiers" and she followed still holding the picture. She came round behind him and stuck the picture in his face.

"Remember this?" Robin's eyes tried to focus and he took it from her and a huge smile came to his face just like the one in the picture.

"Ah" he said, "this was the day you were all moody and didn't want to go on any of the rides even though I know you're a thrill seeker" he teased her and lightly tickled her sides as she giggled. She had only pretended to be scared so Robin would hold her hand on the big ones.

"Hey those things go like a hundred miles an hour," she said pointing to the picture in Robin's hand but she leaned in close and there faces were almost touching. Marian was just about to pull away when his soft lips met hers. She drew closer. Longing for more, but she knew it wasn't right and broke away.

"We should really talk about all of this," she said. Robin nodded in silent agreement.

"It's just… you left me, with no explanation. We were so happy and you disappeared without a trace. And I was so angry and hurt and I hated you for it. But I learned to get over it and made myself not think about you and whenever you did come up in my head, in a picture, in conversation I would ignore it completely because it was too hard to face if I didn't. And then all of a sudden you're on my doorstep and I couldn't just throw you out and so I couldn't ignore it anymore. And then find out that you left because you cheated and because you didn't want to hurt my feelings and you were such a cowered you ran for the border" She was close to tears but she didn't want to give up now she had stated what she had wanted to for 3 years. Explaining her part of the story and why Robin wanted what he couldn't have. "And you still love me. And you want me to love you back after all of this"

"Don't you?" Robin cut in.

"No!" Marian said quickly but looked back at him and her heart melted "I don't know. I need time to think"

"Everyone can learn to love again," he said taking her by he arms and begging her to forgive him and love him again with his whole body.

"But it's the trust Robin! How can I ever be sure you won't do it again? I can't bare another broken heart. I got over you with that broken heart and I am still over you but you make my head cloudy." She said escaping from his grasp and turning her back on him and running her hands through her hair making the already loose bun hang down her back in a confusion of dark brown curls.

The words were pouring out of her mother and she didn't know if they even made sense. She looked to Robin and his face looked so hurt but her words.

"Don't look like that. It has been three years" she sighed. She didn't mean to be so hard on him. But it was the truth. "I want to be like this again I do," she said pointing at the picture that had captured the good times before they cared.

"When?" Robin asked eagerly "Marian I am so sorry and it was so hard for me to leave. But it felt easier pretending to be dead myself then to tell you I had killed us." Robin's words were sweet but she only responded to the initial question.

"You'll know when Locksley." Marian answered and looked at his hopeful eyes "You'll just know"

"It's good to hear you call me that again"

"It's good to say it" and she kissed him on the forehead and they went back to clearing out the room as if the whole conversation had not just happened but Robin took back the knowledge that there was something on the horizon. He just had to be on the watch for it.

**Hmmmmmm what do you think?**

**Xxx**

**Ly**

**Helen**


	6. Royally Pissed

The day after was Monday and Marian had gone to work and Robin had an interview for a job in a restaurant downtown, afterwards Robin went back to the empty house. He sat watching T.V but got restless and started pacing the room.

"I seriously hope I get this job because I hate having nothing to do," he said to himself in annoyance. He managed to keep himself busy by organising his new room but when that job was done he started pacing again. He was humming songs to himself when he stopped suddenly and turned his head. Marian's door. He looked up and down the landing, as if someone were watching him, then back at the door. His heart started racing. The door was half open. No noise would be made if he opened but who would hear it anyway. He wanted to go in, every part of him did, to find any scrap of hope she still loved him. He stepped forward and reached for the doorknob. His hand wrapped around it and he jumped as heard the phone ring. His heart was racing even more than ever and his hand left its position on the door to her soul. He ran down the stairs and looked at himself in the mirror and straightened up. He could of shot himself when he realised his reaction to a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hey. How did it go?" it was Marian. She knew he had attempted to snoop in her bedroom. He could tell in her voice.

Oh my god, pull yourself together!

"Err… yeah alright"

"Good" she said supportively "well I was just calling to say I can't come out with you and the gang tonight. I've just got all this paperwork dumped on me and I'm not going to finished until late" Robin heard her riffling through papers on the other end of the phone but he was to concerned with getting his pulse down to really register what she was saying. "So do you think you'll cope without me?" she said sarcastically

"Erm… sure, yeah no problem, I'll tell them what's going on" he didn't want to go alone. Marian was going to be his cushion when he told the gang what had happened three years previous. Now he was helpless.

"Great. Well I want to make it up to all of you so I was thinking we should all have a barbeque on Sunday at ours as a celebration for your return" she said with a laugh. She wanted to celebrate his return? When he had been such a bastard to her?

"Yeah that sound's good I'll give them the message"

"Okay, I'll see you when I get in then" Marian said "have fun! Love you" and she hung up.

Robin stood rooted to the spot. The dial tone rung hard in his ear but he could only hear the two words over and over. The rest of the world was long gone from his mind. He snapped out of his trance and put the phone down and sat on the sofa.

"She loves me?" no sooner the words had left his own lips he realised how stupid he sounded. He scoffed at himself "She doesn't love you! Fuck off! She only told you last night she needed time to think," he told himself

"Then again she is a quick thinker" his head was a mess of hopes and rationality

"It was nothing. 'Love you' is not 'I love you' is it? It's totally different"

"She said you would know when she loves you. How more blatent can you get it?"

"But it's supposed to be one of them epiphany things where you both realise your love and are reunited when running towards each other. She wouldn't tell you point blank and over the phone."

"Aw come on that doesn't happen in real life and anyway, look what happened on Doctor Who. He was shot by a Dalek just last week and he never got to her then."

"He did eventually"

"Well you don't have two hearts."

"What the hell?" Robin yelled and flung himself on the sofa "You'll know Locksley, you'll just know" he repeated the words spoke to him the night before. "Well I don't just know" he sighed into a pillow and fell asleep.

Hour's later Robin woke from his nightmare sleep with a start. Marian was there. Him too. Both stood in a forest of deep green and brown "I knew. It felt right. Like it had been made for me". What had he been dreaming of he wondered as he rubbed his eyes. The man in his dream knew. He also knew the thing he was supposed to know and was bragging about it. He was fed up with himself. He looked at the clock. 20 to 8.

"Shit" he said and rushed upstairs to get changed to meet the gang in town.

When he got to the bar the whole gang was there. John, Allan, Will, Djaq and Much. They were all sat at a table and looked up when Robin stood at the head. Allan was the first to jump up and gave Robin a hug and everyone else did gingerly apart from Djaq and Much who just sat there. Robin noticed and instantly felt uncomfortable but acted, as he didn't mind.

"Marian has to work late she won't be able to make it she got stuck with a load of paper work but she wants to make it up to you with a barbeque on Sunday" Robin said as he sat down. The gang nodded in agreement

"Never mind eh? I'm sure she'll get over it" Djaq said spinning her drinking in her glass and looking at the contents rather than at Robin. She knew about it. He could tell.

"So let's get down to business." John said

"We don't want to beat around the bush" Will added

"Just tell us why you left our asses here while you went swannin' off" Allan ended. They laughed but again Djaq and Much didn't join in. Robin cleared his throat and told the same story he had told Marian and added what Marian had said last night.

"Jesus dude that sucks" Allan said. Everyone looked at him and gave him a 'don't make it worse than it already is' look. "What?" he asked defensively "I'm not being funny right but he messed things up and Marian isn't making it any easier for him"

"Well maybe she doesn't have to. Maybe she has the right to be hacked off at him. We all should. She not the only one he left behind is she?" Much shouted and he stood up and walked out of the bar. They all watched him leave then looked back at Robin.

He sighed, "He's right. You must be all royally pissed off at me"

"We all make mistakes Robin it's just what we do to make up for it" Will said. Robin just smiled weakly and lowered his head.

Djaq went home early and after a few hours of guy talk they all went their separate ways. However Robin didn't want to go home just yet. He walked around town then decided to walk all the way home rather than take a taxi to clear his head. He reached the door and let himself in.

His ears were filled with music and the sweet voice of Marian singing along to the song.

"We'll tak a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne!" Robin screwed up his face and wondered what date it was. He climbed the stairs and found Marian sat at her desk staring at the computer screen and singing probably louder than she realised. He knocked before he entered trying to rebuild the borders of privacy he had almost completely destroyed that afternoon. She jumped and looked round to Robin standing in the door and turned back to press pause.

"You know it's only August you've got a good 4 months before you have to start practicing." Robin said still standing in the doorway. Marian laughed.

"Well I went to go see the Sex and the City Movie for like the millionth time after work. And I love that song. I figured the rendezvous would go on longer than planned. Looks like I was right." She brushed some stray tears away. The song always struck a chord. Marian glanced at the clock. "So how did it go?" she asked beckoning him to sit on the bed. He did so but only perched.

"Well as you would expect. Brutal" he laughed but remembered when Much walked out it actually was.

"Well I'm sure they'll get over it" Marian patted his hand "so are they coming round?" Robin looked up from her hand on him

"Yeah. I think so"

"Good" Marian said getting up and walking back to her desk. "So do you want food? I know it's late but I ordered Chinese there's enough for two" Marian said temptingly.

"Sounds good"

"Shame. I feel like being a pig." She said flicking the switch on the computer, poking Robin on the nose and heading down stairs. Robin looked round the room what did he expect to see? 'I heart robin 4eva' graffiti on the wall? He sighed and joined Marian downstairs. They ate, drank, and were merry, minus the shocking life story that had made a habit of coming with it.


	7. Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

**Lavender - thanks for reviewing, glad you're liking it**

**xx**

Sunday came round soon which was a relief to a restless Robin although he regretted his wish for it to come sooner when it came to the actual barbeque. The day had become not only a celebration of Robin's return but of him getting the job at the restaurant though it hardly seemed like a celebration. He didn't bother to get dressed up and put some old combats on with a white top and green hoody he didn't even bother to put shoes on. They sat in almost silence. Short conversations were exchanged in whisper while the music played in the background until. SPLODGE. A huge raindrop landed on Robin's cheek just as the speakers blasted out Fran Healy's voice _"why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?" _oh yeah rub it in why don't you?

"It's spittin'! It's spittin'! Everybody in it's spittin'!" John ran around the garden mimicking Peter Kay. "Everybody in quick!" they all laughed and grabbed trays of food and glasses and chairs and brought them inside to shield them from the advancing rain. Much stood defiantly by the barbeque and refused to stop cooking.

"It's only a shower it'll pass." he said. Ten minuets later he was sitting in the kitchen with a towel around him, a cup of tea in his hand and his fringe plastered to his forehead.

"Well that's the sausages gone" Robin said looking out of the window watching the barbeque smoke. But no one seemed to notice. The party moved into the living room where moods were lightened by more friendly conversation and alcohol. Robin much preferred the latter as he couldn't notice a difference in the way hardly anyone spoke to him. He was quite upset with the change in his friends since he left but he couldn't say that to anyone maybe they had just changed. Moved on. Just like Marian. "Talk of the devil" he thought when a gasp came from the other side of the room.

"What is it Marian?" Djaq asked

"Does this bring back memories or what?" Marian said turning round and pointing behind her to the stereo with her iPod plugged in now perched on the windowsill.

"_You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill. You can try to stop the seasons girl but you know you never will_" Marian's smile was infectious through the whole. Even Robin's lips curled at the ends. It didn't need to be said. It reminded tall of them of the trip they had taken 3 years ago to New York just before "the incident". They had gone to see Hairspray on a whim one night but it was never forgot for the sheer brilliance and fun of the show and other reasons of personal matters that we shall not discuss. Nudge-Nudge-Wink-Wink

"Oh God that was a good trip" Will said

"Aka the best week of our lives" John corrected

"And that waitress's" Allan said and the boys cheered him and the girls groaned and rolled their eyes.

That was back when they were happy. When they were together. Robin's smile disappeared but came back when he saw everyone had got up to dance and Marian was signing.

"_I was lost till I heard the drums and I found my way you can't stop the beat_" Marian sang and everyone danced around her. Robin watched from his seat and was about to get up so as not to willingly be left out of the group when everyone was ushered back to their seats by Will and Djaq

"_You can't stop a river as it rushes to the sea_" Djaq sang along and danced to Will very provocatively for her.

"_You can try to stop the hands of time but you know it just can't be_" Will sang back and danced with Djaq

"_And if they try to stop us Seaweed I'll call the N. double A. C. P._" Djaq raised her hands in the air "_Cuz the world keeps spinning round and round and my heart's keeping time to the speed of sound I was lost till I heard the drums and I found my way you can't stop the beat_"

"_Ever since we first saw the light a man and woman like to shake it on a Saturday night_" they sang together "_so I'm gonna shake and shimmy yeah with all my might today_" Djaq shook her shoulders and lent forward causing Marian to scream with laughter and the lads to wolf whistle. "_Cuz you can't stop the motion of the ocean or the rain from above you can try to stop the paradise we're dreaming of but you cannot stop the rhythm of two hearts in love today cuz you can't stop the beat_" they sat back down and Much got up as if they had be rehearsing it for years.

"_You can't stop my happiness coz I like the way I am and you just cannot stop my knife and fork when I see a Christmas ham so if you don't like the way I look well I just don't give a dam_" Much's dance was more improvised but got equal if not more laughs than the previous performance. John and Allan gave solo dance routines to the musical intermissions and all together they forgot about the fact that it was raining and Robin was a bastard.

Sometimes a great memory from the past can wipe out a bad one.

The song ended and more drinks were handed round and laughter spread like wild fire. The next song started and as if it were like breathing Robin and Marian stood up and took centre stage at the end of the room where the table had been moved outside. Surely ruined by the rain now but no one seemed to notice it.

Because it was just like breathing Marian didn't even think about the consequences of the thing she was just about to do. She looked up from her position to Djaq and gave her look that only girls can read and explained everything Djaq sent one back saying it was ok. If she had forgiven him she had too. Which ever way round that might be. Marian smiled and returned to her position.

"_Once I was a selfish fool who never understood_." you can say that again Marian smiled to herself "_never looked inside myself but on the outside I looked good_" Robin slicked his hair back and brushed his hoddy down "_then we met and you made me the man I am today_" Robin held out his hand and Marian took it letting herself be spun towards Robin and wrapped in his arms "_Tracy I'm love with you no matter what you weigh_" they looked into each others eyes as Robin sang. Well as best they could because the drink was starting to effect.

"_Cuz without love_" they both sang and Marian broke away but kept dancing close

"_Life is like the seasons with no summer_" he would have to do it

"_Without love_" just to test the waters. He could always blame it on the vodka or the music.

"_Life is rock and roll with out a drummer. Tracy I'll be yours forever cuz I never wanna be with out lo-oooo-oo-oo-ove Tracy never set me free_" Robin grabbed Marian and dipped her to give her a Hollywood kiss. She obviously liked it because she didn't brake away. Not even when the lights went out and the music stopped. Not until Djaq screamed and Marian moved to see what had gone on.

"Did that come from you?" Allan asked. Thank God no one saw me, Marian thought. Djaq flushed

"What? I was just the shock. I'm fine now." She hugged herself as Robin straightened up. I could kill her, he thought.

John stood by the window and examined the sky. "Looks like another storm and it's coming this way," he said. They improvised with candles and put the stereo on batteries. The guys were talking like old times and Marian and Djaq were by the stereo picking the next song. They chose a song and Djaq went to sit back down but didn't, only handed her drink to Will.

Djaq stood at one end of the room, Marian at the other. The music started, a percussion sound, and Marian's hips popped in time sending the boys into a trance which broke when she started to sing.

"_My grandma and your grandma sitting by the fire. My grandma said to your grandma I'm gonna set your flag on fire_" Marian pointed and shuck her hips again. "_Talkin' 'bout, hey now! Hey now! iko, iko, un-day. Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-né. Jock-a-mo fee na-né."_

"_Look at my king all dressed in red? Iko iko un-day" _Marian stopped dancing and froze like Djaq had done. "_Bet you five dollars he'll kill you dead_" Djaq was almost giving Will a lap dance but the Martinis in her didn't care. "_Jock-a-mo fee na-né_" Will's face turned the same colour as his shirt "_Talkin' 'bout, hey now! Hey now! iko, iko, un-day. Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-né. Jock-a-mo fee na-né."_ Djaq popped her hips like Marian with each beat of the drums. Making Will loose every beat of his heart. "_My flag boy and your flag boy sittin' by the fire. My flag boy said to your flag boy I'm gonna set your flag on fire._ _Talkin' 'bout, hey now! Hey now! Iko, iko, un-day. Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-né. Jock-a-mo fee na-né"_ The music carried on and Marian and Djaq danced around the room with the guys clapping to the beat.

"_See that guy all dressed in green? Iko iko un-day_" Marian pointed to Robin in the arm chair, who's response was one of fake surprise "_He's not a man he's a lovin' machine Jock-a-mo fee na-né_" Marian was on tip toes and catwalk walked over to him and bent over so their faces were only inches apart. Robin went lean in for the kiss but Marian knew it was coming and tossed her head back playfully and carried on dancing. The music faded and so did the night. Alcohol will make you do the craziest things eh?


	8. Wake Up Call

**Lavender - ok glad you LOVE it. thank you so much for reading it means alot. p.s i have another one on the go if you want to read that (not A.U though) xx**

** ly**

**Helen**

The next day Marian woke up in her bed and wondered how she got there. She looked round and tried to think what went on last night. She held her head as she felt groggy and realised she had slept in her clothes minus her bra. "What the fuck?" She tossed her quilt back and walked onto the landing. She could hear the TV on downstairs but didn't want to see what was down there. Too many times she had come down to an awful sight the morning after the night before. She went downstairs and closed her eyes before walking in.

Robin was watching TV but not concentrating. Last night had confused him. They kissed, but did it mean anything? They had sung but were those her words? He was fed up with thinking about it. So he decided then and there he wouldn't anymore. End of.

The door opened and he looked round to Marian still in her jeans and top arms outstretched and eyes tightly shut. He laughed at the sight.

"Is everyone still here?" she asked

"No" Robin said still laughing.

"Is the house still standing?"

"Yes" Robin said and he stood up and went over to her

"Is my bra still intact?" Robin screwed up his face

"What?"

"I can't tell you how many bra's I've lost on drunken nights," Marian laughed at her younger days that weren't so far away.

"Its on the lamp" Robin answered and laughed along

Marian dropped her arms and opened her eyes. Robin looked tired like he had been up all night. He probably had, cleaning up her mess. She slumped on the sofa and buried her head in the cushion. A muffled apology came from it.

"It's ok Maz" Robin sat beside her and rubbed her back.

"No it's not. It's all fucked up" Marian turned around looked at Robin with tired eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't remember any of last night. I don't remember saying bye to everyone. I don't even know how I got to bed and you stayed up all night clearing up after me" Marian went back to her pillow.

"Well it was a good night" Robin re-called "We danced and sung to hairspray. Do you remember that?" Marian nodded "Do you remember the rain?"

"Yes" Marian sat back up

"And the power cut and…" if she didn't remember he didn't want to jog her memory of the kiss "and passing out?"

"What?" Marian could remember everything else when it was said but not passing out. Not that she would remember that anyway.

"Yeah that's why everyone left. It's kind of hard to party when the hostess drops" Robin said with a weak laugh

"Oh shit" Marian lent forward and buried her knees in her eye sockets.

"Hey come on we all had fun and I offered for them to stay but they all had work today"

"What?" Marian shot her head up and looked at the clock. 11:30. "I'm late. Shit shit shit shit" Marian jumped over the coffee table but Robin caught her arm before she ran through the door.

"Hey I called and told them you were sick"

"Well I'm not I have to go into work" Marian tried to loosen from his grasp. "I'll call and say I'll be 20 minuets" Robin tightened his grasp

"If you call they'll know I was lying" Robin said. Marian looked down at his hand on her arm and he let go "I just thought you'd want to have a day to yourself after last night" Robin said and he lowered his head. Marian sighed.

"Robin what would I ever do without you?" Marian buried her head into his shoulder as he hugged her.

"You seemed to cope perfectly well without me for three years" she didn't want to tell him she had been a mess for at least a year after he left and she didn't want to live without him from now on.

She had told him he would know when she was ready but if she didn't know how to tell him they hadn't a hope in hell.

"Oh" Robin said remembering another of Marian's statements "And I wasn't cleaning up your mess because there was none"

"Well why do you look tired?" Marian was confused. If he wasn't up then why the tired eyes? Couldn't he sleep?

"Well not everyone left when I put you to bed" Robin confessed. Marian expected the worst and her face looked so scared that he could read her mind "Oh god no! No. No. Much stayed and we talked a while" they burst into giggles and sat back on the sofa. Marian paused when she realised it must have been quite a serious talk as Much was just as devastated as herself when Robin left.

"So it must have been pretty hard eh?" she asked

"Well he took it better than you I have to say" both of them were relieved that they could joke about it now. "We just talked about how he was pissed at me for leaving and for what I did but he's forgiven me and so has everyone else" Robin said plainly. 5 down 1 to go.

"Well I'm glad" Marian said "now can I please have some coffee?" she said clutching her head.

"Sure" Robin laughed and kissed her forehead. Now that he wasn't thinking about it everything felt normal again, or as normal as they could be without being a couple.

**Ok sorry it was a bit crap but the inspiration juices aren't flowing and I have ideas of what is going to happen but not ideas of how to get to them lol.  
**


	9. It's All Coming Back To Me Now

**The chapter you have all been waiting for**

**So nervous…… review so I know I've done good lol**

It had been months since the party and Robin's decision to not think about whether or not him and Marian were getting together. It was Saturday and Marian always slept in late which was good for her because Robin came back from early morning shifts at the restaurant so he could make Marian breakfast but was never tired until the afternoon when Marian would be out with Djaq so he could sleep in peace.

This particular Saturday Marian got up earlier than usual and Robin had only just got in.

"Hey what are you doing up?" Robin was surprised but was concerned when Marian's face was streaked with yesterdays make-up and a mix of dried and fresh tears. "Maz what's wrong?". Could he be any nicer? She thought as a wave of tears hit and she shook her head.

Robin held her close. He knew she would tell him in time so he didn't probe. Marian lifted her head and just said "Keep me away from sad stuff today ok?" Robin nodded in agreement.

"I'm going to make pancakes do you want some?" she nodded. He might of sounded patronizing but Marian liked him to baby her when she was upset. She felt safe. Robin steered her towards the sofa and sat her down. He gave her the remote and went to make breakfast for them.

Marian sat and wiped her tears away and flicked through the channels. Robin eventually came through from the kitchen bearing trays of plates, jam and chocolate sauce. Marian took her plate and stated shovelling pancakes into her mouth and sobbing.

"Come on Maz don't cry" and as if it were an order from a commanding officer she stopped and gulped her mouthful of pancakes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about" she sniffed "I'm just having a shit day"

"Ok. Well" Robin took the remote from her and flicked to Jeremy Kyle. "There's nothing better than laughing at screwed up families is there?" Marian smiled. She could always rely on him.

After an hour with Jeremy, Robin went for a shower promising he wouldn't be long so as to "defend fair Marian from 'the evil that cometh'" which made her laugh. Marian went into the kitchen and did some washing up listening to her iPod in the stereo. The next thing she knew Robin was there in his towel punching the stereo trying to find the pause button. Marian stood back in terror but laughed at the scene.

"Well this is one way of cheering me up" Marian looked Robin up and down. "But I do want my music please"

"Ha-ha very funny. I was just turning off because you said you want me to keep you away from anything depressing."

"And...?" Marian asked

"Well that's depressing music. Put something nice on" Robin said searching for another song

"What are you on about? It's Beauty and the Beast. Its like the happiest thing ever." Marian corrected.

"But that song is depressing _I_ don't even like listening to it" Robin said and Marian just screwed up her face "It says stuff like 'I'm leaving forever' and 'it will never be' stuff like that," Robin said apparently quoting from the song.

"What are you on?" Marian said flicking bubbles at him. "Will you listen to it properly? She played the song again "see it's nice" Robin was surprised to know he was wrong and apologised.

"That's ok. But how many other songs do you think are depressing and they're not?" Robin tried to think and thought she was probably right "you have to listen to the lyrics more you can't just think it's sad because the music is slow. Every song tells a story and sometimes it actually means something to what's going on with the person." Marian blushed when she realised she was lecturing but he seemed to take it on board.

Robin went back to his shower and Marian went back to her washing up. While he was in the shower Robin thought of all the sad songs he knew and tried to figure out whether they were sad or not. He lay on his bed whilst drying and thought about it. When he snapped out of his thoughts he realised Marian was playing more music and was singing along so he tried to decide whether it was happy or sad.

"_For all those times you stood by me. For all the truth that you made me see. For all the joy you brought to my life. For all the wrong that you made right. For every dream you made come true. For all the love I found in you. Ill be forever thankful baby. You're the one who held me up. Never let me fall. You're the one who saw me through, through it all." _

Robin decided it sounded sad but it wasn't because she's saying thank you someone who she loved and lost because they were happy together. As Robin thought this he sat up. "Like us". She had said songs have meanings. Was this meaningful to her? He lay back down and let the words that came from Marian's mouth wash over him.

He decided to see if it was a fluke and listen to the other songs she listened and sang along to. She must have had Celine Dion on because the next song was "River Deep Mountain High". Robin laughed as he pictured Marian dancing downstairs in his mind. He thought she must be happier now because it was an upbeat song and was about being in love. He was about to go see how she was doing when the next song came on. The piano notes hit him hard in the chest and could feel something he couldn't explain. But nothing prepared him for what would happen next.

"_There were nights when the wind was so cold_" Robin had never heard Marian's voice like that. Powerful, angry, emotional. "_That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window."_ Her voice was softer but still bitter. As if she were sorry for herself. She has a right to doesn't she? Robin thought as he heard the song.

It hit him. He just knew. This was it.

"_And I banished every memory you and I had ever made"_ Robin felt hurt he knew the words she spoke were true. He had hurt her and this was his payment. It was worse than any torture he knew.

"_But when you touch me like this and you hold me like that. I just have to admit That it's all coming back to me"_ he felt her soul fall as she told herself this.

Downstairs Marian was fighting back the tears. She hoped, so hard she thought she might die, that he would realise. It took all she had to tell him this.

"_There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right. There were nights of endless pleasure. It was more than any laws allow. Baby Baby" _Robin saw years of happiness with Marian before him. His was their story and she was telling it. He had to know how it ended. He stood up and walked to the door.

"_It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me" _she prayed he would.

Robin needed her more than ever.

She knew.

He knew. His legs wouldn't take him any faster down the stairs as if they were waiting for something better.

"_There were those empty threats and hollow lies" _Marian started to sound hurt again with the truth of the song Robin prayed she would stop or he might die with guilt.

"_But you were history with the slamming of the door. And I made myself so strong again somehow. And I never wasted any of my time on you since then" _the music stopped for what would only have been a moment but to an awaiting prince to hear his lovers words it was days.

"_But if I touch you like this and if you kiss me like that. It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me" _Robin's breath loosened as he heard the voice that was like a rose amongst the thorns that he was so grateful of and with every step he became closer to it. _"There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light. There were things we'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right"_

Robin heard himself whisper "Yes" as he heard the passion in Marian's voice. The passion was for their love.

"_When you touch me like this and when you hold me like that. It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me"_ every touch, every look, every kiss over the past few months had meant something to both of them but had been afraid to voice it. Marian was taking a stand. A smile came to Robin's face in honour of her bravery.

Robin walked into the living room. He could see her in the kitchen still at the sink but not cleaning just leaning on the work surface and singing.

"_The flesh and the fantasies all coming back to me. I can barely recall. But it's all coming back to me now."_ She gave herself up to it. She held her head as she sang trying to keep it on so she knew it wasn't a dream and Robin would know.

She felt him, in the room.

Robin stood at the door of the kitchen watching her. Awestruck. The beautiful woman who he loved and had always loved was telling him that she did too. His felt a lump in his throat. This was defiantly it and he defiantly knew.

You always find the thing you want when you aren't looking for it.

She turned round and they looked each other in the eyes.

"Now would be the time you turn off the stereo and ask me what I want for tea." Robin thought wishing the whole thing was true but having the hint of a doubt about it. "Shut up you bastard. Men like you would kill for a moment like this" When Marian carried on singing to him the doubt was gone.

"_If you forgive me all this, if I forgive you all that. We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me" _Marian took a step forward. She had forgiven him and he had forgiven her. Nothing else mattered in the whole world. Marian couldn't stop singing. She had waited weeks to say it and it was finally coming out she felt lighter than air and so in love.

"_And when you kiss me like this"_ Marian pressed her body into his and looked at him.

"_And when I touch you like that"_ she put her hand on his chest.

"_If you do it like this" _Marian took her other hand and placed Robin's on her waist.

"_And if we…"_ the music faded and so did the world around the two who had found love together again.


	10. Cocktails

**Lavender - hehe **

**Thank you for all of that read.**

Marian and Robin had decided to lay low for now. They had just gotten back together and they wanted time alone so acted as if nothing happened.

It was Robin's birthday and they were meeting the gang for drinks that night so they thought they'd get a 'workout' in before hand.

Shirts were discarded on the coffee table, Marian's skirt lost in the dining room and Robin's trousers on the banister rail. Robin ran his hand through Marian's dark brown curls as she kissed his neck.

"SURPRISE!" a chorus of cheers came from the kitchen and grew closer. Marian shot up off Robin and stood up faced with the gang "HAPPY BIRthda...... oh" Robin look round and pulled the throw off the back of the sofa to cover himself. Marian ran up stairs cursing. They all stared after her then looked back at Robin and didn't say anything for a while, all recovering from the scene they had just witnessed.

Djaq thought it best to go after Marian, excusing herself with grunts and not looking at anyone for fear of her head exploding with blushing. Allan finally broke the silence with,

"Birthday treat?" pointing to the ceiling. John punched him in the arm and they all sat in silence only broken by Marian's sobs of embarrassment and Djaq trying to calm her down from above them. Robin went upstairs to get dressed leaving the rest of the men to ponder over how the news and how it was broken. Mostly the latter.

Much paced up and down trying to calm everyone down which didn't help because they were calm and just tried to stop the heart attack that came with the disturbing sight. Robin came down eventually and was laughing about it, the gang joined in glad to have direction as how to take it.

Meanwhile Marian was up stairs in her dressing gown with her head buried under the pillows on her bed.

"It's ok Marian, listen they're all laughing about it downstairs." Djaq said trying to calm her down. Marian lifted her head leaving mascara marks down the pillow and her face.

"They're laughing at me Djaq not it" Marian cursed again

"I swear they're not" Djaq laughed at the situation but stopped when she saw Marian was hurt.

"What are you guys even doing here?" Marian asked eager to change the subject.

"Well we thought we'd surprise Robin for his birthday and I knew the spare backdoor key was under the plant pot so thought we'd come round" Djaq said dropping her head like she had been told off by her mother.

"Aww that's really sweet and I guess I can't blame you, you didn't know me and Robin were back together." Marian said feeling equally guilty.

"Yeah." Djaq said. The trauma of seeing such an act had diverted her brain from the fact they had worked things out. "When did this happen?"

"Few weeks ago" Marian said quietly

"Weeks ago?" Djaq shouted, "How could you not tell me?"

"Well we wanted time to ourselves. No surprise visits from celebrating friends" she said laughing at Djaq's fake anger.

"Fine!" Djaq said sitting back on the bed. "I'll go downstairs and let you get dressed"

"Ok I'll be 5" Marian said getting up and opening her and Robin's wardrobe. She loved to think that. Since they already lived together Robin just moved some stuff into Marian's room and now they called it theirs.

"I'm never going to look at him the same way" Djaq said cringingly and left the room.

Downstairs the guys were doing what guys do and laughing at the event.

"So do you still want to go to the bar or somewhere else?" Djaq asked changing the subject. The guys stopped laughing and thought about where to go and celebrate. They all silently agreed the house had to be emotionally sterilised before they could sit down in it.

"I think someone's had their fair share of cocktails for one day" Allan said causing more laughter from the gang. Djaq just rolled her eyes but secretly found it slightly funny.

Marian came downstairs and came into the living room. Everyone was silent and staring at her. Marian couldn't take it.

"Ok me and Robin ARE back together and we DO have sex but it's no different from any other relationship so I don't know why everyone looks so shocked." Marian almost shouted to get all the anger out and still no one said a word until Djaq coughed.

"Erm Marian … your dress is inside out" Marian looked down at her dress and sighed. She gave up. She took the dress off over her head and turned it inside out much to the shock of her friends.

"Oh come on it's nothing you haven't seen before." Marian put the dress back on and grabbed her bag off the chair and headed for the door followed shyly by the rest of the gang.


	11. The Big Secret

**Lavender - just for you lol**

**Thank you as usual.**

Marian laid on her bed face up, on top of the covers, one hand by her head the other by her side. She had been lying there for hours

Robin came in from work at 5. Another new guy had started work and he changed shifts to spend more time with Marian who incidentally was off work this week. He went upstairs to get changed from his uniform. He saw Marian on the bed.

"Hey" he kissed her forehead but she didn't move "what a day I've had. The new guy set his apron alight and he had to go to A&E so I had to do all his tables as well as mine." Robin said sighing. Marian just lay there as if he were a ghost.

He might as well be now she thought to herself.

"Marian are you ok?" she turned over on her side and Robin left feeling very concerned for her. She had been fine yesterday. What had changed? Marian started to cry silently when she heard the door close. How could she be so cruel?

Robin sat downstairs thinking what was wrong with his beloved. She would of told Djaq if anything was bothering her he thought but Djaq wouldn't tell him even if she had. Still, it was worth a try. Robin took the phone into the garden so Marian wouldn't hear. He felt bad from keeping secrets but it was for her own good.

"Hey it's me" Robin said when Djaq answered the phone "have you talked to Marian recently?"

"No I've actually just got back from a week conference why?"

"I don't know, she's acting really weird today and she was fine yesterday"

"It's probably just PMS, she'll get over it"

"No it's different, she's different" Robin was really concerned now. Djaq didn't know what was going on and Marian told her everything.

"Put her on the phone I'll talk to her" Djaq said. Robin went back inside and upstairs but when he went into the bedroom she was asleep. He told Djaq in a whisper and hung up the phone before taking one last look at his sleeping beauty and closing the door.

Marian opened her eyes again when she knew he was gone and let the tears roll. She hated this.

She must have actually fallen to sleep because when she next looked at the clock it was 12:30 and Robin was next to her asleep. She was wide-awake now so went downstairs and poured herself a shot of vodka. She grabbed her coat and sat on the outside bench it was a cold November night but her heart felt lighter for it. She downed the contents of the glass and sighed she couldn't do this to herself. She rummaged in her pockets and flipped her phone open. She called the new but familiar number.

"Can I come over in half an hour?" she waited for a reply "ok" she flipped it shut again, got up, washed her glass and put it back in its place.

Half an hour later she was stood at a street lamp down a quite street searching for signs of life anywhere. Not that there needed to be anymore.

A man stepped out of shadows into the yellow light of the street lamp

"Is this a booty call?" the man asked with a laugh

"Shut up Nicky let's go" she hated him when he was cute and she was frustrated.

Marian followed the man to his house she'd have to remember how to get back to the main street and back to the house again. She felt lots of visits in the near future but prayed she wouldn't need to for this and if she did come again it would be under different circumstances and not in the secrecy of the night. They had been there for hours and it was starting to get light again.

"And your not going to tell?" Nicky asked

"Nope, well not yet anyway" Marian sighed "I don't know I've fucked it all up"

"Stop thinking about it chicken, just for tonight, come here" he held his arms out from his flat position on the bed.

"Ok" she fell into the nook that his arm and body made and breathed his sweet scent he wrapped his arms around her and they fell asleep together.

Marian woke up to her phone vibrating on the bare wood floorboards. She searched for her phone in the bundle of clothes on the bedroom floor. It was Robin. She flipped it open sleepily

"Hello?" she sat up rubbing her neck when it has rested on Nicky's arm through the night.

"Where the hell are you!"

"At..." she paused "a friends" she looked at Nicky they had slept in their underwear and she smiled forgetting Robin was on the phone

"Well I'm shitting myself here. It's 7 in the morning, empty bed, no girlfriend no note, no nothing. What the fuck are you doing?" Robin sounded truly angry but upset.

"I just needed some time" Marian tried to hold back the tears as talk "to think"

"Is there something you want to tell me Maz?" Robin heard the tears and pulled off the angry boyfriend mask and put on the concerned friend one.

"No it's ok I'm coming home" she hung up before he could say goodbye. Nicky had heard the conversation and propped himself up on his elbow. Marian turned round whipping her bed head locks round her neck. She collected them and tied them in a loose ponytail. She slipped on her black jeans back and tank top and slung her coat over her arm.

She kissed Nicky on the nose playfully "Last night was fun, could we do it again?"

"Anytime" Nicky smiled back and watched her go out the door "See you later"

Marian walked all the way home like she had walked all the way there. It took over an hour to get back home. She literally ran last night. She took her time this morning not wanting to see Robin like this. She would run upstairs and take a shower and wash the smell of him off her. He smoked and she hated that but didn't hold it against him. She smiled as she remembered him. She turned down the street and through the gate and in the front door.

Robin jumped on her almost immediately.

"Thank god you're ok" Robin said holding her "You are ok aren't you?" Marian faked a laugh trying to calm things down so she could get out of there she didn't want Robin like this it was too much for her at the moment.

"I'm fine!" she said as she made her way upstairs heading straight for the bathroom and locking to door. When she got out of the shower she went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed sighing to herself. Robin came in when her heard her get out of the shower.

"I'm going to work now sweetie I'll see you tonight" Marian sat up and pulled the towel closer to her then slackened it up. "Don't ever do that to me again ok?" Robin said kissing her forehead then her lips "see you tonight" Marian smiled weakly then flopped back on the bed.

"Is this what its going to be like?" she asked herself when she heard the door slam downstairs. "Guilt, Anger, Frustration, Ecstasy all in one day" she ran her fingers through her dam hair and spread it around the pillow "This is Amazing but bad so bad" Marian went back to crying.

Why her?

Why him?

Why them?

Why now?


	12. Who?

**lavender - why do i always make you cry? lol**

Robin was at work so Marian decided to pay another visit to Nicky. She felt like she was betraying everyone by going behind their backs but she needed this.

She pulled her coat closer as she walked the streets. She hated this place, so creepy and dirty. She knocked on the door. Nicky opened it and let her in.

"Twice in 2 weeks? I have been a good boy this year" Marian punched him in the stomach. The situation was nearly unbearable and he didn't have to fuck it up even more for her. She headed straight for the kitchen and sat on the counter

"So have you told him yet?" he asked as he stood in front of her getting straight to the point. Marian just shook her head with shame.

"But I have decided that because he broke us and that was his decision I have come to the conclusion I have the right to do this" she said firmly believing what she said.

"Marian two wrongs don't make a right and he has to know" Nicky said

"But I want to do it this. It is my decision not his" Marian jumped from the counter and paced up and down the kitchen. Noticing yellow stain marks on the fridge. Disgusting.

"I think he has the right to know what's going on" Marian looked around the room finding that the wallpaper was peeling, in some places not even there, and in others burned. She hated it here.

"He can know" Marian said eventually giving into the fact he was right "but I'm doing it no matter what"

"So you've decided?" Nicky asked seriously. Marian took a breath

"I don't know I haven't made up my mind yet" she groaned and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration

"Maybe he can help you"

"Fine I'll tell him all about it, but you have to be there for me whatever we decide to do ok?" Marian pointed to the floor as if to say he had to stay by her side forever

"That's what I'm here for." he said taking her hands and rocking them in time to the beat the boiler made.

"Ok let's go back to my place and we'll tell him when he get's in" Marian gave in to her conscience.

"We?" Nicky asked. Marian just rolled her eyes and too him by the hand and led him out

They both made their way back to Marian's house and laid on the sofa watching Juno but not really paying attention to it. Marian lent on Nicky as he lent on the arm of the sofa. Marian's legs were shorter so fitted perfectly into the space Nicky's made. She smiled.

"So why do you live in that dump of a place?" Marian asked

"Only place I can afford at the moment" Nicky answered honestly "and I'm not there a lot so I don't mind"

"God how long has it been?" Marian tried to piece the story together in her mind. The conversations they had had recently were mostly about her and she wanted to get to know him more.

"To long" he said twirling her hair

"No but seriously it's been like what? 7 years?" Marian turned around and rested her chin on his shoulder. Nicky counted in his head

"Yeah! Whoa has it been that long?" Nicky asked. Marian just smiled

"All the men in my life left me but now there all back home." She hugged his legs "Well not all of them." she fiddled with the elastic on the bottom of his trousers.

"Hey I thought you were over that?" Nicky asked sympathetically

"I guess you never really get over loosing your dad do you?" Marian snapped the toggle on his trousers and he flicked her head. Marian sat up "so we're going to do this?" she asked him holding his hand.

"Hey it's not my place it's up to you but yes you're going to do this" Marian let go of his and dreaded telling him.

"So yes or no?" Marian looked at him confused "yes or no!?" tipping his hand up and down mimicking a scale.

"I don't know Nicky stop putting me off"

"What would he want?" he asked leaning in

"Well 'no' obviously he's my boyfriend and loves me to the moon and back. But I don't know if I can deal with it all" she screamed to let out her aggression

The door opened and Marian shot up and straightened herself out to look like she was totally innocent. She just made it look worse.

Robin came through to the living room and saw Marian standing there like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Oh you're up. Are you feeling any better?" he went to kiss her but she turned her head to face Nicky, causing Robin to look too.

"Nick!" Robin yelled and Marian looked at him confused. How did he know her Nicky? Had he told already?

"Rob!" Nicky said smiled and hugged him. Marian stepped back utterly confused by what she saw.

"Maz this is Nick we worked in the same bar in London then reped together in Spain" Robin turned to Marian with his arm round Nicky and introduced them

"I know who Nicky is Locksley" Marian shouted

"She always calls me that when she angry" Robin whispered to Nicky showing off to his old friend. Marian screamed and stomped her foot. "Wait how do you know Nick?" Robin realised what she had said.

"You never said it was Robin!" Nicky said to Marian slapping him playfully on the chest "we go waaaaaay back. You should of said"

"Oh well sorry for not mentioning his name when there were more important things going on in my world" Marian yelled and threw her arms in the air

"Wait what's going on?" Robin said trying to complete the jigsaw puzzle.

"The other day when you called I was at Nicky's house. I stayed over" Marian said looking down at her feet

"Wait" Robin said stepping away from them and landing in the chair he pointed his two index fingers and crossed them a few times in question. Both Marian and Nicky looked shocked and Marian panicked

"Jesus Christ! No Robin this is Nicky, he's my brother" Robin's mouth fell open "he's been helping me out recently. He just moved back to town and we've been hanging out," Marian said putting her arm round her sibling.

Robin shook his head. He couldn't believe it.

"So what's going on? You've had me so scared over the past few days and Djaq doesn't even know. Marian just tell me what's going on." He took her in his arms forgetting all about the long lost brother.

Marian looked to Nicky for support and he gave her a smile saying it was ok and she needed to.

"Robin. We're pregnant"


	13. Baby?

**Lavender - calm down lol.**

Robin looked her in shock then screamed, picked Marian up and spun her round.

"We're having a baby! We're having a baby" Marian held her head and hugged herself.

"I best be going" Nicky turned to leave not wanting to interrupt the 'happy' occasion.

"No don't leave we have to celebrate" Robin said grabbing his arm "this calls for champagne" Robin said looking back at Marian.

"Nicky" Marian pleaded him not to give in

"I'll see you later" and Nicky left.

Robin hugged Marian again lifted her off her feet. He was the happiest man alive.

"Robin don't" Marian pulled away.

"Sorry I'm just so excited but I guess your probably tired and stuff so shall we call round and tell people?" Robin ran to the phone.

"Robin…" Marian said quietly.

"We'll have a big party and invite everyone we know" Robin said grabbing a spare bit of paper from the phone table and jotting notes.

"Robin…" Marian said even more quietly but felt like it was screaming in her head. She tried so hard to keep the tears back.

"We could book a table at that fancy restaurant around the corner from mine. I think my boss would be a little pissed off but who says he has to find out." Robin glanced over his shoulder whilst talking to Marian and waved his arms about.

"Robin I don't think I want to have this baby!" it took all Marians strength to say it. She screamed it. And she felt like falling to the floor with lack of energy and being overcome with tears. She didn't mean to be angry she just didn't understand why he couldn't just know and understand without her having to explain herself. But she knew he couldn't and didn't want to wait for a reaction.

"That's why I've been going over to see Nicky when he got back because we used to tell each other everything and he helped me through all this" she explained

"And he was all 'you should tell him before you do anything stupid'. And I was all 'Well if I just have an abortion he wouldn't have to know but I can't go behind his back like he did to me because he would never forgive me'" Marian broke down in tears and hit the floor. Robin rushed over and hugged her.

"I'm not ready to be a mummy Robin" Marian said through sobs "But you want to be a dad so bad like since you were little and we're so over the top in love" Marian pulled away and looked into his eyes hoping she would see a scrap of understanding from him. She didn't see it.

"I'm 26 I can't be a mummy!" she cried again. Robin's face didn't change they both just sat on their knees. One in shock the other in distress. A few minuets passed before anyone spoke again.

"You can! We'll sort it out. Just don't have an abortion. For me" Robin pleaded. Marian just shook her head. The tears of pleading had gone but were replaced with tears of anger

"If I don't want this baby surely you should be supportive?" Marian quizzed

"Well what do you want me to say? Oh yeah go ahead and kill my baby why don't you" Robin was as angry as Marian now he stood up and walked around the living room.

"Robin this is my life too!" Marian shouted angrily getting up to face him. Robin stared at her with eyes that could kill. Marian couldn't bear to look at them. She had made them but he didn't understand and refused to. She closed her eyes and held her breath, bracing herself for whatever was to come next. She didn't move until she heard the front door slam. She broke down in tears again. How could he?

She stood there, shaking, hands on her face and crying none stop. She went to bed and tried to forget about it because she had work in the morning.

Good luck with that honey.

Marian woke up the next morning expecting Robin to be laid next to her with his mouth slightly open in that cute way he did. He wasn't though and he wasn't downstairs or in the spare bedroom either. He hadn't been home all night. Due to Marian's mind being elsewhere she was running late so she got changed and did her hair and make up before having one last check in the mirror. She looked surprisingly good for a woman who had an emotional breakdown and very little time on her hands.

Work went as normal. Some errands here, a phone call there. She was about to call it an early day since all her jobs were done when the receptionist called her desk.

"There's a man wanting to see you Miss Fitzwater by the name of Nicky he said you would know what it would be regarding." Marian could tell the receptionist was eyeing Nicky up and down in a 'who the hell do you think you are?'. She gave a small laugh at the picture in her head.

"Send him up. Thank you" she sat back at her desk. She knew employees weren't supposed to have visitors to the office but she was the floor manager and all the girls that worked for her ate him up and were as devastated as her when he left.

"Honey I'm home!" he shouted to the entire floor of office girls.

A choir of smitten voices called back. "Hi Nicky"

Marian rolled her eyes.

"Hey how are you?" Nicky asked sympathetically when he came over to Marian

"Oh sorry I can't talk there's a high bridge with my name on it" she joked as she grabbed her bag and walked out of the office. "See you tomorrow girls!" she called back.

"So you told him. How did it go?" Nicky cringed as they waited for the lift.

"Pretty bad" Marian answered. The lift chimed as the doors opened and they stepped inside.

"What did he say?" Nicky asked

"He asked me not to have an abortion for him" Marian said plainly

"But it's your life too" Nicky said. Marian shrugged in response.

"That's what I said"

"And…"

"He walked out. Hasn't been back since" they reached the ground floor and walked out to the car park.

Marian updated Nicky in the car home about the night's events. She dropped him off at his house and sped off to hers. When she got in she kicked her shoes off dropped her bag in the hall. Climbed the stairs. Turned on Celine Dion and climbed into bed.

"Mmmmm" a noise came from the other side of the bed causing Marian to scream, jump out of bed and automatically reach for the baseball bat she kept beside the wardrobe.

"Whoa! Whoa! It's just me" Robin emerged from the covers holding his hands up in surrender. Marian lowered the bat and leant against the wall clutching her chest.

"Oh my god don't do that to me" she said trying to get her breath back. They looked at each other and realised how uncomfortable they were talking to each other.

"I'll just go." she said bowing her head and heading for the door.

"Wait" Robin said climbing over the quilt and launching himself in front of the door. He stood up and faced Marian who was smiling. She loved it when he played hero. "I'm sorry about last night" he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I didn't mean it and I shouldn't of said it" he looked into Marian's eyes and she looked back "and I'm going to support you whatever because that's what boyfriend's do" he said.

Marian flung her arms around him and whispered in his ear. "I love you"

Robin whispered back his response and she smiled.


	14. Miles Away

**Lavender - thank you lol.**

The next day Marian was up early and was dancing around the living room in only her underwear and one of Robin's hoodies to ABBA's 'thank you for the music' on her headphones. Robin came downstairs in his boxers and bed-head hair looking lightly spaced.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Marian frowned then held her finger up, switched her iPod off and took off her headphones.

"What did you say?" she asked

"What are you doing?" Robin asked again.

"Erm … dancing" she answered

"It's 6 in the morning," Robin said sleepily. Marian just shrugged. Robin shook his head and laughed.

"I'm getting coffee you want some?" he asked

"Yes please" she had her hands behind her back and one leg bent at the knee looking so innocent the fact she was barely 5ft 2 just added to the little girl look. Robin laughed again and Marian went back to her music.

"Hey don't forget we have John's birthday party tonight at his place so don't be in late" Robin called from the kitchen. No answer. "Marian!" he shouted as he came back through to the living room.

"What?" she asked as she took her headphones off again.

"John's party. Tonight. At his place." Robin shouted again like she still had her headphones on.

"Ok!" she shouted back in the same tone and they both laughed. Marian drank her cup of coffee and went back to dancing. Robin watched her as she spun around the room mouthing the words to herself. He smiled to himself, his girlfriend was crazy and he was the luckiest guy in the world to have her.

_The music blasted in her ear. She just wanted to get out of it all._

"_Another one please" she asked the bar tender_

"_I'll get this." a man swooped in beside her and paced the money in the bar tenders hand. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She rolled her eyes and smiled but soon went back to her sighs._

"_That's a big sigh. Anything I can help with?" Marian gulped down half her drink and slammed it down on the bar._

"_Piss off" the man laughed._

"_Want to come back to my place?" he asked placing his hand on hers. Marian looked down, finished her drink and slammed it back down._

"_Abso-fucking-lutely" Marian hopped off the bar stool and grabbed her bag of the bar and walked to the door. The man followed and ushered her into a waiting taxi. They got to the door and staggered in laughing. _

"_And you haven't had a boyfriend since?" he asked crying with laughter._

"_Hey! Just because he had a fetish in the kitchen doesn't mean it was my fault he nearly got his … thing cut off. I've had plenty of boyfriends thank you very much" she tossed her bag over her shoulder and flounced over to kitchen counter and perched on it. "What about you? You had any weird fetish people in your bed?"_

"_Oh yeah. Erm let me see. Gay porn, latex, cyber-sex, whips and chains." He said counting on his fingers._

"_All the same girl?" Marian raised her eyebrows_

"_God no. I would of died if it was. I still have the scars to prove the last one" he gave a cheeky smile. "So no current boyfriend?" he asked _

"_No. Plenty of them but none of them seem to stick around much" she looked up into his eyes "They were nice of course. Well. Not all nice. Defiantly not all nice." she stared at a spot on the wall and looked blank._

"_This is usually the part when I try and get in your pants but do you want to talk?" he said moving towards her._

"_This last guy. His name was … well never mind. He was kind of rugged. Didn't know how rugged he could get. He beat me black and blue in every place that couldn't be seen if I was wearing a mini skirt and a strappy top. I'm not stupid I got out of it as fast as I could. Then he called me and said if I didn't get back he'd kill me. I didn't believe him but he came after me beat me up all over again. He left me in the alley for dead." Marian choked back the tears and shook her head "but I told the police fortunately he had already been caught for drugs or something." She smiled "just drowning my sorrows at the bar. I'm fine now"_

_He leaned in and kissed her. Passionate and fiery. "Now the last time I saw you." She began. "You were being told off in Miss Green's English A-level class because you had a boner whilst reading Shakespeare," she laughed and held her hand to her mouth._

"_It wasn't the Shakespeare," he admitted. Marian cocked an eyebrow._

"_Oh yeah? Well who was it? Jessica that sat in front of you? Abigail in the second row?" she teased._

"_You" he said_

"_Oh that's nice to know" she flipped her head. She stared at him again. She grabbed his neck and kissed him fiercely._

_Marian woke up with a hand on her waist. Not her hand. She looked to the owner and smiled. She pulled the covers back and tiptoed over to the mirror. _

"_Morning" the hand owner said sleepily from the bed._

"_Good morning" she looked back over her shoulder and got back into bed._

"_I love you, you know that?" he said. Marian let out a laugh_

"_It's been three years since we saw each other Locksley you're not seriously in love with me."_

"_I am. I always have been. I want to make something of this," she laughed again._

"_You couldn't make any relationship never mind this, last a week" she said, "Well, I'd give you two" she swung her leg over and sat on top of him "I'm a pretty good shag" she winked Robin began to tickle her and she screamed._

"_Marian" he kept calling "Marian"_

"Marian" Marian jumped in her seat.

"What? Sorry I was miles away" she looked around and realised she was at work in the canteen.

"You weren't listening to me were you? I told you she never does" the girl said laughing and turning her head to the girl sat next to her. "I was saying I don't know how people can do this" Marian's mind was blank

"No Mandy I wasn't listening to you. And what the hell are you on about?" Mandy rolled her eyes and turned the paper she was reading towards Marian.

"I don't know how people can do this. Kill themselves. I couldn't do it"

"Yeah but you're too chicken shit to do anything" the girl by her side said.

"Shut up Gwen" Marian studied the article.

A mother. A wife. A daughter. She killed herself and left everyone behind to suffer.

"I tell you what though. I could bloody kill that Josh of mine sometimes" Mandy said jokingly.

"No even I couldn't do that," Gwen said.

"Yeah me either" Marian said. "Couldn't kill me. Couldn't kill Robin." She said clutching the paper with the picture of the deceased. "Couldn't kill me couldn't kill Robin" she smiled then looked at her watch. 3 o'clock. "Sorry ladies" she finished her coffee. "I have a party to go to"


	15. A Game Of Big News

**lavender - damn them lol**

"Right John where do you keep the good stuff?" Allan said rubbing his hands together at the end of the table. All seven of them were sat around the kitchen table at John's flat.

"Oh no you don't" Marian said grabbing his shoulder and sitting him back down. "I want to know all about this girl of yours and you're not getting drunk and telling me about your shenanigans in bed."

"What new girl?" Robin asked

"Allan has a girlfriend," Marian teased.

"Shut up will you and how do you know anyway?" he asked

"You told Will, Will tells Djaq everything, Djaq tells me everything," Marian explained.

"And you don't tell me everything? How come I didn't know about this?" Robin asked feeling left out

"There's lots of things I don't tell you Locksley" Marian looked at Allan whilst she spoke and then turned to Robin and winked.

"So what about this girl then Allan?" Robin asked leaning forward.

"Nothing!" Allan said "I've just been seeing her for a while"

"How long?" Marian asked

"2 weeks" Marian and Djaq looked at each other and smiled "what?"

"You're in love" Marian said looking back at him.

"You're off your rocker"

"Allan you can't be in a relationship longer than … well, you can't be in a relationship. You're in love, he's in love"

"I am not!" Allan said folding his arms

"Ok what's her name?" Marian asked. Allan stayed silent but Marian raised her eyebrows

"Sally" he said eventually

"Last name?"

"Don't know" Allan shrugged

"Well I can give you that you don't even know the first name of most of the girls you bed" Marian admitted "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Well she wasn't round last night"

"That's not what I asked" Marian lent in closer "did you get any sleep last night?" Allan looked down.

"No"

"Ha I knew it!" she smiled at Djaq and she smiled back

"What is it?" John asked but Marian ignored him

"Did you eat breakfast?" Allan shook his head "lunch?" he shook his head again "anything?"

"No but I've been feeling sick!" he said defensively

"Well you look fine to me" Marian said and shook her head "you're in love."

"Alright just leave it will you?" Will stood up and shouted. Everyone looked up in shock and Allan was just about to thank him when he smiled "we should all leave lover boy alone" he teased and everyone laughed.

"So when do we get to meet this Sally?" Marian asked

"Erm let's see today's Tuesday. Never"

"Aww why not?" Marian pouted

"It's not fair none of you had to go through the meeting the other half episode." Allan protested.

"Well it's your choice. You could have fallen in love with John or Much then you wouldn't have to go through it all" Marian smiled.

"Well you're not meeting her. Not yet anyway" he added "and I'm not in love! Let's just change the subject," everyone agreed.

"So any other news?" Djaq asked the table "why don't we go this way she said pointing to Allan's right, to John. "We haven't talked in forever"

"Well" he said standing up "I saw Alice last night" everyone looked up to him and Marian gasped

"And…?"

"And she's asked me if I want to give it another go" he said. Everyone smiled and Marian stood up and walked round the table to him. They embraced. Like they had done so many times. John and Alice split up around the same time as Robin left. They had been each other's shoulder to cry on. Marian could tell John had been jealous of Robin and her when they got back together. But now he had his own happy ending.

"John that's brilliant" Marian exclaimed and she sat back down.

"Well we've got the momentum going now we might as well carry on" Djaq said "Will any news?" he pursed his lips and tried to think of something equally brilliant to the previous bulletin.

"Nope" he said "you?"

"Nope. Only that I love you" and she kissed him

"Old news" Robin cupped his hands over his mouth and mimicked a foghorn in his words cause everyone to giggle and Djaq to go a nice shade of pink.

"Much?" Djaq asked following the game around the table. Much stood up with his glass.

"A toast!" he declared. Everyone had their glasses at the ready to propose to a new retseraunt in the small chain he owned or a new girlfriend or something equally exciting. "To my new curtains" the gang exchanged glances and erupted with laughter. "Hey this is a joyous occasion I finally replaced the god dam ugly ones in the living room that my mother put up," everyone was still laughing and Much sat back down feeling disheartened.

"Robin?" Djaq asked through spurts of laughter

"Erm nope none for me either" he admitted turning his attention to an unidentified object floating around in his lemonade.

"Marian?" Djaq indicated for her to stand up if she had anything to say. Marian stood up with her glass of diet coke in her hand

"Well I'm afraid that if this is a game of big news" she circled her finger picking up each competitor with it "then I win," she said. She raised her glass and looked at Robin who had his index finger in his glass fishing for a fly. She smiled and laughed much to the confusion of the rest of the gang. She rose her glass higher "me and Robin" she said slowly. Robin looked up at her with his finger still perched on the edge of his glass hanging on her every word after the mention of his name. "Are having a baby!" silence. The shock waves had knocked them all unconscious she was sure of it. But she new how to revive them. She screamed joyfully and put her glass down.

With that Djaq screamed at flew out of her seat towards Marian but she was too late. She had already gone spinning around to room with the help of Robin. The men sat in disbelief at the words. The gave confused looks to each other then at the happy couple. They stared back with beaming smiles causing them all to stand up and scream and hug and kiss.

"Can we break out the alcohol now?" Allan asked.


	16. And Bagels

**lavender - haha again**

**noz4a2 - i love writing allan's bits lol**

**thanks for reviewing**

**xx**

"_There's too many thing's I haven't done yet. There's too many sunsets I haven't seen" _Marian was signing in the kitchen and woke Robin up from his amazing dream. He liked to be woken to Marian's signing, it meant she was in a good mood today which is a relief for a man who has to work out whether or not that look given to him from across the living room was a 'I asked you 3 hours ago to do the dishes' look or a 'do me' look. And now Marian was pregnant he decided to use the 'don't speak unless spoken' to approach.

Robin grabbed his boxers and went down to the kitchen. "You're in a good mood today" he said placing tiny kisses on her neck. Marian turned around and Robin put his hands on the counter so she was caged in.

"No reason why I shouldn't be I have a wonderful boyfriend, amazing friends and …" she turned back around and produced a package. "… Bagels" she said laughing and kissing him on the nose. "Oh were all going to the diner tonight" she said "and please be on your best behaviour because Alice will be there" she warned.

"God I hardly remember Alice!" he said

"Well they weren't together that long but they were so in love" Marian took a bite of her bagel and Robin kissed the crumbs away. "Hmm" she said moaning "Are you at work today?"

"Not until 12" he said kissing her again. Marian grabbed the phone off the bench. She was still in her little cage and kissed robin again.

"Hi Lisa I'm not going to be in 'till this afternoon." Robin looked confused and Marian kissed him longer and harder this time. Robin raised his eyebrows and Marian smiled back "ok thanks hun" and she put the phone back down and hopped on the bench.

Robin knew Marian liked to be treated gently so he gave her ever-successful move of trailing his fingers up her thigh very slowly. Marian slapped his hand away and Robin went back to looking confused.

"But I thought…" he was cut off when Marian pulled him viciously into a passionate kiss. She hopped off the bench again still kissing and dragged him through the house and, eventually, back into bed.

Night came and everyone was sitting in he diner waiting for Robin.

"I'm sure he'll be here any time now" Marian said with a nervous laugh. She hated making a bad impression on new company. "I'll just go and make a call" she stepped outside the diner and called Robin.

"Hello?" he answered

"Where the fuck are you?" an old woman walked past and looked Marian up and down. Marian gave her a smile as if to say 'I'm pissed off with my boyfriend please don't hate me for swearing in your company'. Marian sprits were lifted when apparently the woman understood her and silently said

"Men" and rolled her eyes.

"You were supposed to meet us at the diner" Marian turned her attention back to the phone.

"Sorry Maz everything's hectic as hell here but I swear I'll be there A.S.A.P. just start without me"

"Ok" she gave in "but you owe me," she added

"As always" she smiled and hung up the phone. She explained to the gang what was going on.

Robin was running down the street he was almost an hour and a half late. He reduced to a walk; the sweaty, tired look just didn't work on him. As he walked past the window he saw the gang at the table but no one looked back. He thought some may have jumped ship but all were still there. including…" Robin ducked behind the wall

"Shit" he ran in the opposite direction and hid in an alley. "Shit, shit and fuck" his phone beeped again. It was Marian.

"Where r u?" the text read. Robin texted back.

"Can't leave 2 busy. Buy everyone a drink on me and I'll see them all another time. Xxx"

"Shit" he said to himself. He waited in the alley for the party to come out. Robin hid behind a dustbin while the huddle walked on with Allan trailing slightly behind. Robin grabbed him by the shoulder and ushered him into the alley. He struggled but Robin calmed him down and waited before the others were out of sight before he let go of his mouth with his hand.

"Jesus Christ Robin what are you doing?"

"Was that Alice?" he asked him

"Yeah why?" Allan was still confused

"Shit" was all Robin could say.


	17. I Was Pissed?

**Lavender - hope this clears things up**

**Hate this chapter but didn't want to keep you waiting.**

Another plate came flying towards Robin and he ducked. It smashed against the wall and landed on the floor adding to the pile of broken dishes. Note to self: don't tell your girlfriend you cheated on her three years ago with your friend's girlfriend while she is doing the washing up.

"Marian calm down! It's in the past now."

"Calm down? Calm down? I will not! You know what Locksley? I was miffed when you cheated but I was willing to let it go but Alice of all people. How did you not know?" she screamed

"I was pissed?" Robin said as if asking if it was a valid excuse. It wasn't. Marian took and mug from the draining board and threw it at the wall and stormed out into the living room. Robin followed. Marian swung round and pointed her finger.

"You know you have to tell John. And she has to be there too" Robin just nodded. "I thought you were better than that Locksley." Robin nodded again and bowed his head

"So did I" he said weakly. Marian sighed.

"I'm going to get some air." And she left. Of course he knew perfectly well she was off to tell Will, Djaq and Much.

Marian walked the short walk from her house to Djaq's. Marian filled her in on all the gossip over a cup of tea.

"It's not that I'm upset for me" she said "its John. It'll kill him. I didn't know the girl that Robin slept with and I don't know Alice so I'm not that fussed. But if I get to know her it'll just be too hard"

"Well do they have to tell him?" Djaq asked

"Yes. Otherwise there will always be a tension whenever they are together and John won't know why. It'll have to come out sooner or later." Marian took another sip of her drink.

"And you'll be there for support?" Djaq asked

"Yes. I don't know who I'll be supporting but yes," they both laughed and carried on chatting.

Robin called Will and Much and told them the story. He thought he'd better beat Marian to the punch.

A few hours later Marian came home and found Robin asleep on the couch. She grabbed his coat and threw it on him and he woke with a start. He looked up and saw Marian standing over him.

"Come on Locksley time to go ruin someone else's relationship"

Marian and Robin arrived at John's flat and went in. John greeted them.

"Hi guys. Robin, just in time, Alice is here you can finally meet her" John ushered them inside.

"Oh, yeah, great" he said and looked at Marian. She just glared at him. They walked into the kitchen and saw Alice perched on the bench when she saw he company she hopped off and went straight over to Robin.

"Hi I'm Alice. It's so good to finally meet you" she outstretched her hand and robin took it

"Erm, yeah, likewise"

"We were just talking about when I was in Japan a few years ago. Have you ever been to Japan?" Robin didn't like Alice's forwardness and was glad he was off his face when it happened. But despite this he thought it would be easiest to go along with it.

"Erm no when did you go there?"

"I went for 4 months. It'll be three years ago now" she said looking at John

"Sounds about right" he answered

"So you left after?" Robin asked. He didn't want to just come out with 'oh by the way John me and Alice screwed three years ago'

"After what?" Alice said confused

"You know" don't make me say it out loud. She just looked confused again. "That night"

"Sorry… what night?" Alice took a step backwards subconscious giving her some distance from the mad man.

Robin looked round and John and Marian who just stared at him.

"You know … in the club… three years ago…we…" Robin spoke quietly so as not to disturb the memories in Marian's head.

"Excuse me?" Alice answered suddenly

"What?" added John.

Robin panicked. "Don't you remember?" he asked

"No sorry"

"Ok three years ago. When was it? April. We were at the … erm … indigo bar. We were drinking together then …" Robin rolled his hands to show the story carried on.

"April? I was in Japan in April" Alice said with a slightly shaky voice

A round of "what!" came from around the room

"Robin!" John said. He turned round and saw his friend ready to kill him.

Robin looked back at Alice who looked terrified of the man who came to her boyfriend's house accusing her of sleeping with him three years ago.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry…I'll just…go" he turned for the door and Marian followed after giving a apologetic look to the couple.

Marian and Robin got home and the argument really started.

"What the hell was that?" Marian yelled discarding her coat on the sofa and walking through to the kitchen.

"I don't know it mustn't have been her then" Robin said staying in the living room he didn't want any more plates thrown his way.

"I thought you said it was her?" Marian yelled.

"Sorry I thought it was. It looked like her," Robin yelled back

"You were pissed how could you know?" Marian came through the door holding a cereal bowl and Robin ducked automatically.

"But I thought you said you thought I knew who she was?" Robin said from his crouched position on the floor. Marian just grunted and went back into the kitchen

"You do realise this means we can't talk to them for at least two weeks" Marian switched on he blender and Robin went to see what she was doing.

"Why? Is that he set time for this situation?" Robin asked sarcastically "come on it'll be fine" he said wrapping his arms round her waist.

Marian turned around and gave him the evil eye holding the bowl the now possessed cheerio's, milk, peanut butter and chocolate spread all blended together.

"I'm going in the bath with my cheerio surprise and I don't want to hear about this again." she stormed out of the room and up the stairs deliberately making a lot of noise.

It's times like this when Robin had to remind himself "she's carrying your baby. She's carrying your baby and she's just hormonal so do as she says."


	18. Bryan Adams Fan Club

**Ok so after figuring out what time of the year it should be in this story I figured it was December so…. Merry Christmas lol**

'Summer of 69' was playing from the bedroom when Robin came in from work. He hung his coat on the banister and climbed the stars. He peeped round the door saw Marian bent over the computer and occasionally stopping to scribble something on a piece of paper.

"Honey I'm home" Robin called over the music. Marian jumped in her chair and grabbed the paper and hid them in the draw and concealed the screen with her arms.

"No don't look," she said

"Why?" Robin moved in from the doorframe on onto the bed. "Are you doing something naughty?" Robin said in a child voice teasing her "do I have to tell mummy on you?" Marian smiled and turned the computer off and joined him on the bed.

"No" she positioned herself on top of him. Just hovering above him with her arms supporting her. "But I might need a spanking later on" she smiled and Robin growled. They both laughed and collapsed on the bed.

"Ooo careful. Don't hurt Mable!"

"Who's Mable?" Marian asked confused

"Well I was thinking of names today and I thought Mable was a good one" Robin said fiddling with the buttons on the quilt

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Marian said holding up her hand "first if all we are not calling our daughter Mable and second who said were even having a girl"

"Well I was just thinking" Robin said quietly. Marian felt really guilty when he did

"I'm sorry that I was mean," Marian said

"Forget it" Robin said plainly and walked out of the room

"Robin!" Marian called after him. He didn't answer so she got up and followed him "Robin please don't be upset" he was stood on the landing and looking over the banister she stood next to him and leaned over too. "I could get used to...Mable" she had to force herself to say the name.

Who in their right mind would call their child Mable? She thought as she examined the pile of laundry that had accumulated on the stairs. Suddenly she felt a breeze on her arm as Robin had sprinted back into the bedroom. She followed him and found him tapping away at the computer.

"Robin what are you doing?" he turned round and had a huge grin on his face.

"Ha! You should have seen your face! Mable! Ha! As if I would name our kid that" and he went back to the computer. Marian's eyes squinted as she scowled

"You'll pay for that Locksley," she said but Robin spoke a response she didn't expect.

"What's all this?" he said pointing at the screen. Marian ran across the room and hit the off button

"Christmas shopping" she said smiling.

"Oh yeah I really should start soon" Robin joked and stood up catching Marian's lips with hers as he did. Just then the phone rang and Robin launched across the bed and picked it up before Marian could run round the side and get it herself.

"Hello this is the Bryan Adams fan club how can I help?" Marian slapped his arm. "No I'm afraid the occupation of number one fan is still being held by a Miss Fitzwater" Robin paused "well I'm not sure if negotiating would work with she a persistent little bugger but I'll put her on. Please hold" Robin held the phone out to Marian and mouthed the caller's name.

"Hey Djaq" she said laughing "yes Robin's just being a child" she threw a pillow in his direction and he ran out the room to dodge it "grow up Locksley I can't be doing with two kids in the house" Marian shouted after him. Djaq laughed on the other end of the line. "Ok when? … Right … yes … see you then … bye" and Marian hung up the phone. "Robin come and get dressed. Allan's finally letting us meet his Sally at the diner" Marian straightened out the quilt and walked over to the wardrobe contemplating what to wear.

Soon they were ready and everyone was sat at the diner waiting to meet Allan and Sally

"Do you think you two should switch?" Marian asked "your fringe is on that side so you won't be able to see her when she comes in. unless she sits here, but then I'm not next to Robin and she might get confused" Marian fussed over the gang.

"Marian just calm down it'll be fine" Robin took her hand at looked around at the table. "Everyone's ok."

It was true. The festive spirit seemed to have made Alice and John forgive Robin for his mistake and they were all good friends again.

Robin looked up as the door opened "Look here they are now" he pointed out seeing Allan walk through the door and his girlfriend followed close behind. Robin's mouth nearly hit the floor when she came into plain view.

"What is it Locksley?" John leaned over the table and laughed jokingly "another girl you've shagged?"

Forgiven but not forgotten.


	19. Sally?

"Sally?" Robin asked standing up. Sally's breath caught as she looked at the man who was now stood up and called her name.

"I'm not being funny but do you two know each other?" Allan asked walking over to the table and dragging Sally's reluctant hand as he went. They arrived at the head of the table and stood in front of Robin. Sally contemplated the face for a few seconds before smiling and saying,

"Never met him in my life" taking a seat next to Will and across from Robin she perched herself and made everyone feel that she was quite at home. Allan looked confused but brushed it off as he introduced everyone. The night went with food and laughter. The only two people who never engaged in direct conversation with each other were Sally and Robin.

"Well that was a good night," Marian said depositing her bag on the floor and collapsing on the sofa "Sally is so nice"

"Yeah" Robin said blankly

"She and Allan are so in love" Marian said sighing

"Yeah"

"It makes me feel so romantic" she said floating off the sofa and onto Robin's lap in the chair.

"Yep" Robin answered to no in particular question

"Is something the matter honey? You were so quiet at dinner" Marian played with the hair on the back of his neck

"I just want to go to bed," he said picking Marian up and placing her back on the chair and he went upstairs. When Marian finally came upstairs Robin was already asleep right on his side of the bed. She climbed into bed wondering what was wrong with him and tried to go to sleep but she kept tossing and turning. She never had trouble sleeping before. In fact there were lots of things she didn't have before.

Marian woke up late the next morning as she had the day off but she was confused, even if she had the day off Robin would wake her with a kiss or a cup of coffee or both but there was none. She was about to turn over and go back to sleep when the doorbell rang. She crawled out of bed and put on her dressing gown stopping to fasten it at the top of the stairs the doorbell rang again.

"Just a second" she called. Marian ran down the stairs and opened the door to find Sally stood there. "Sally what are you doing here?" she asked in a shocked tone

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't think anyone would be in. I got the address from Allan I hope you don't mind" she said getting very nervous and playing with her long dark blonde hair.

"No not at all come in come in" Marian yawned

"Are you sure you look so tired" sally said stepping over the threshold

"Well I should probably be getting as much sleep as I can before the baby comes" Marian said closing the door and smiling. She had to remind herself everyday she was carrying a child as it hadn't sunk in yet and it made her smile. "But I love to see new friends" they went into the living room and Marian made Sally a coffee and brought through her morning routine of orange juice and vitamin tablets. "These are a bugger sometimes but Robin insists I take them." Marian said laughing but it soon disappeared when she remembered his mood last night.

"I didn't know you were pregnant." Sally said excitedly

"Yep about a month now. So we didn't get to talk much at dinner last night, I think all I got was that you're 23 and you work at an art gallery?" Marian questioned

"Yeah that's pretty much me at the minuet. Oh and Allan" she remembered quickly

"He seems quite smitten with you" Sally blushed "and you are too"

"Yeah he's a really nice guy" Marian and Sally hit it off right away. They talked all day and practical swapped life stories. Sally finally went home around 4 but they both promised to make it a regular visit.

Robin came home from work to find Marian on the sofa wrapped in a quilt watching Sex And The City and crying.

"Maz what's wrong?" he asked sitting down next to her

"Men are bastards," she said point blank through the tears.

"Thanks" he said offended by Marian's statement

"They are!" she said in defence to any woman who has ever said it "I have had nothing but bad things from men" Marian contemplated "I should just become a lesbian, much less hassle"

"So why will you be leaving me for a woman?" Robin asked playfully

"Men are bastards," she repeated

"Specifics Marian"

"You are, Mr Big is, Sally's brother is" she said pointing in various directions with her tissue "look" she said throwing her tissue to the T.V "why can't you just say you love her?" she screamed at the top of her lungs to the fictional character stood looking at Sarah Jessica Parker who was waiting for those three simple words. Mr Big got in the taxi and drove off leaving a heartbroken Carrie at the bottom of her steps with bags at her feet watching the man she loved drive off without her. Marian broke into tears again at the scene. "But she forgives him and they get married and live happily ever after" she said hoping the same could happen for every woman in the world "eventually" she added reminding herself how many tries it took her on-screen idol.

"But it's not just boyfriends. It's brothers too. Yes sir" she informed Robin "did you know Sally hasn't seen her brother in 4 years and he didn't even go to his father's funeral when she told him about it. Can you imagine? How must her mother feel? Loosing a husband and having a son that doesn't want to see her. I hope our baby doesn't turn out like that," she said smiling at her stomach and stroking it gently.

"I never said that!" Robin said standing up

"I didn't say you did I'm sure our baby will be an angle" Marian said trying to calm robin down

"I still want to see mum," he said to himself out loud

"Robin what are you on about?" Marian was confused and stood up letting the quilt drop to the floor and wrapping her arms around his neck

"Sally's my sister" Robin said looking into Marian's eyes hoping she wouldn't take it to hard

"But that means…" her hands dropped to his chest then she pushed the bastard away.


	20. See Their Breath In The Cold

**lavender - you have no idea**

The night was cold and she could see her breath as she walked towards her father. The orange spotlight lit her way though she couldn't see the source because of her hood. Her footsteps disturbed the snow on the ground that tried with all is might to lay and impress the wishers of a white winter at the very least. She opened the large metal gate with a bare hand and shuddered and replaced it deep in her pocket. A light breeze played with her hair and made her cheeks rosy, showing her the way. The small figure ignored the wind and walked down row after row of small stone memorials. Reading each name as she went she wondered if any of them were fathers whilst they could see their breath on a cold night. She hoped they were and that their children came to say goodbye to a departed loved one who had given them the ability to see their breath in winter. The wanderer stopped at the end of one great row of particularly menacing looking statues and knelt down in front of a simple slab and cleared the thin layer of snow that masked the name.

_Here Lies Edward Fitzwater_

"_All our dreams can come true _

_If we have the courage to pursue them." _

_Walt Disney_

She could hear her father say those words still and still believed them even if they only appeared in stone now. She stood back up and held her belly from inside her warm pocket in promise to try to be as good a mother as he had been a father. The snowflakes melted in the tears on her cheeks and she brushed them away before saying farewell for now and going off in search of a slab she hadn't thought of going to look for until now. The snow was laying on every surface now and fell heavier so it wouldn't be long before it would make her pursuit impossible. She thought bitterly how she should be at home with her love looking out of the frost bitten window and celebrating over a cup of hot chocolate the first snow of winter. Still she combed through every name on every row trying to find an acceptor for an indirect apology. She eventually found the name she looked for on a plaque at the bottom of a rose bush.

_Planted On April 6__th__ 2006 In Full Bloom_

_By Wife Lily And Daughter Sally Locksley_

_In Memory Of Our Dear Departed_

_And How He Lived His Life_

Hands tightened on the keys in her pocket as thoughts of how his mother and sister must have felt writing the plaque ran through her head. What must a son have done to be left off the memorial of his own father whilst wife and daughter lay their thoughts in gold to tell the world they cared? She hadn't had time to get an answer from him as she grabbed her coat on ran for the door. She was so angry that he had let down another important person in his life and didn't like to think of what else he could have done. She knelt in the snow and read the words again. She said she was sorry that he hadn't said goodbye but swore she would make him make it up to the man who gave him the breath he could see in the cold. She walked home through the silent army of snow that now covered over her shoes. She breathed out a long deliberate breath and pretended she could see her father in front of her in the mist, for a moment she thought she did. She smiled and decided not to brush it off but hold the moment forever. The bed was warm when she crept in and disturbed him in his sleep. He rolled over and smiled at her presence. She smiled back.

"Tell me all about it tomorrow" she commanded softly and he smiled in agreement to the pact they took not only to talk about his father but anything else they wanted to share. She cuddled into his back and fell asleep with the grateful thought the family she had right here could still see their breath in the cold.


	21. The Best Things Happen While You Dance

Marian sat amongst the cardboard boxes unpacking the nativity scene that took it's annual place on the mantle when she was distracted by the T.V. Bing Crosby stood on a stage in a Santa outfit singing "White Christmas" she looked out of the window and the snow fell in a half-hearted way but she decided it was better than nothing. The song finished and she stood up to hang some more tinsel over the mirror. A tree here, some twinkle lights here. The front door opened and closed and Robin walked in.

"Are you EVER at work nowadays?" Robin asked sarcastically

"I'm back on Monday," she giggled. Robin tapped Marian on the shoulder and gestured for her to take his hand. When she did he spun her into his chest. "And hello to you too"

"May I have this dance?" he held out his arm to the floor. Marian curtsied and they started gliding around the room.

"I thought we were going to talk today?" Marian asked not wanting to forget the fact the reason she had almost gotten frostbite.

"We are talking" Robin corrected

"Then talk" Robin wasted no time in telling his side of the story.

"My mum called me and told me dad had had a heart attack. I tried to get a plane out of Spain but they were all booked for weeks. Then I got the call telling me he had passed away early one morning. Sally says I didn't want to go because even after the funeral and when I could get home I didn't because I thought if I stayed where I was it wouldn't be true. I haven't seen mum since I've been back because I didn't want to face her. She's a terrifying woman" Marian smiled as she looked in his eyes. They had stopped dancing. And Robin had stopped keeping his secret.

"Do you want to see her?" Marian asked one arm still on Robin's shoulder and the other hand in his.

"Yes"

"Then go," she said softly as if a voice inside his head. Danny Kaye began to sing and the couple stated dancing again.

_The best things happen while you're dancing, things that you would not do at home come naturally on the floor, for dancing soon becomes romancing, when you hold a girl in your arms that you've never held before. Even guys with two left feet, come out all right if the girl is sweet, if by chance their cheeks should meet, while dancing, proving that the best things happen while you dance._

Robin dipped Marian and gave her a Hollywood kiss before bringing her back up again. He placed one hand back on her waist and the other on her belly

"Last Christmas with just us"

"And the first if you recall. We've only been back together 4 months and you act as if we're an old married couple," Marian giggled. She loved that the time he was away didn't even register; in terms of the time they had been together, in his mind.

"Would that be so terrible?" Robin pulled her closer. Marian didn't answer. She had certainly thought about it. What else could you think about when you were living with the love of your life and carrying their baby? But she didn't want to tell him. It was her secret and she would keep it close to her heart until he asked in the proper way. Down on one knee. Tiffany diamond. Fireworks. Cheering. Tears. The works. She knew it would never happen but a girl can dream can't she? Marian smiled kissed him on the cheek and went back to her boxes and Bing Crosby.

Robin sighed silently as his arms swung by his side before wandering to his trouser pocket. Just to check it was still there.


	22. Party Preparations

**noz4a2 - thanks lol**

**lavender - haha and you didn't cry?**

**I have a whole plot line just waiting to be unleashed. (I swear I go to bed every night thinking about it THAT'S how big it is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). Anyways enjoy my lovely's.**

**Xxx Helen**

Marian sat in the conference room with some other colleagues discussing plans for the firms annual Black and White Christmas Ball. Marian was in charge of music that unfortunately meant all the girls on her floor demanded she sing, but at the moment she was concentrating more on keeping her breakfast down. She looked up from the briefing sheet she had been given when she came in and saw her boss and all the other organisers. She couldn't keep it in any longer. The room was starting to spin and she bolted for the door and to the toilets. She lent against the door of the cubical as she dabbed her face with a tissue.

"Erm… Marian?" a voice came from the outside. She flushed the toilet and walked out. Gwen stood by the sinks bearing a paper cup of water. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah thanks" Marian said weakly as she took the cup and lent over the sink.

"We all have our suspicions" Gwen said walking over to Marian "do you want to put the rumours to rest?" Gwen smiled

Marian smiled at the thought of her girls all talking about the possibility of their boss being pregnant. She turned her head to the wavy haired girl and nodded. Gwen smiled widely and jumped up and down on the spot. "Ok calm down its no big deal."

"It is! It is!" Gwen corrected, hugging an amused Marian. "Can I tell the girls?" she asked

"Sure" Marian laughed and made her way back to the meeting. She pushed the double doors open and the congregation stared her. She shyly found her place again and sunk low into the swivel chair.

"So Jane got us the cupcake party favours and that's the catering sorted. And last on the agenda" the man who towered over Marian's chair broke the silence. "I think we would all like to congratulate Miss Fitzwater. May the next 18 years be as hellish for you, as it was for you're farther." Everyone laughed and congratulated her one by one as they left the room.

After fighting a crowd of fussing girls Marian finally found herself at the front door of the house and breathing a sigh of relief she closed the door and lent against it. She took off her coat and scarf and picked up the note left on the phone table.

_Going to Mum's after work_

_Don't know when I'll be back _

_Don't wait up_

_Love you_

_Robin_

_xxx_

She kissed the name in wishing him luck then pressed it to her belly to let the baby kiss it too. She knew it was stupid but knew he'd love it.

Marian didn't even bother changing before settling down on the sofa with a hot chocolate along with four of her best friends. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha and their latest adventure in the city. She watched and spoke along to the script she knew so well.

She laughed when "Charlotte had Pookipsied in her pants."

Smiled when Louis for St. Louis got "her very own Louis Vuitton"

And cried when it got to the Christmas and New Year part. She always cried at the music yet she had already submitted it as a romantic dance song for near the end of the night and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold herself together.

Marian looked at the Thomas The Tank Engine advent calendar she had gotten Robin as a joke. Only 1 week until the ball and then a week after until Christmas. She felt just like her 5 year old self again as she took another sip of her 3rd hot chocolate of the night. She was going to sleep like a baby tonight.

**Sorry if you haven't seen SATC: The Movie but I'm like obsessed with it and it kind of fits later on ;) you should defiantly see it though!!!!!!!**


	23. Dresses And Diamonds

Marian folded the ironing as she pinned the phone between her shoulder and ear as she informed her friend of what happened with her boyfriend and mother the night before.

"So he talked with his mum and she wants to meet you?" Djaq asked excitedly on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, and apparently Sally told her Robin didn't want to come to his father's funeral and so she wouldn't talk to him" Marian said folding a stretched supposedly tight top. She was going to have to get maternity clothes soon. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of being that huge.

"Why would she do that?"

"Sibling rivalry I guess" Djaq just moaned in agreement.

"So you have your dress for the ball?" Marian asked realising she'd have to try hers on to make sure it still fitted.

"Yes black, short with a huge corsage. I got it yesterday" Djaq answered proudly. Marian climbed the stairs to examine her dress.

"God I'm jealous, you'll look just like Sarah Jessica in Sex and the City." Marian pouted

"Do you have yours yet?" Djaq asked unaware that Marian was slipping into it as they spoke. They had gone shopping countless times and saw lots of dresses but none perfect enough for Marian.

"I have it on now." She said grabbing Robin's socks and depositing them in the draw "but it just makes me look fat" she said not even bothering to look at herself because she knew for a fact.

"Shut up" Djaq said but Marian didn't answer for several seconds "ok I didn't mean literally." Djaq laughed

"Djaq you have to come round right now" Marian said eventually

"Why?" Djaq asked concerned

"Just come round, the doors open let your self in" she was rooted to the spot and her heart was racing. She couldn't move if she wanted to, it was too frightening.

"Marian are you ok?" Djaq asked again firmly

"Just come round now!" Marian almost shouted and she hung up and threw the phone on the bed her legs threatened to buckle with fear.

Several minuets passed and Djaq came rushing though the door "Marian what is it?" seeing her friend staring at the open sock draw.

"Open it" Marian said plainly

"Open what?" the draw was already open

"That" she pointed

Djaq walked over and looked into the draw to the small blue box half covered by socks

"Open it" Marian said again

"I can't" the short haired woman said quietly

"Please Djaq" Marian's voice was quiet but cracking. Djaq reached in and took the box from its home. She held it in front of them both and opened it slowly with half closed eyes and arms out-stretched. An engagement ring. "I knew it" Marian said biting her lip

"Your getting married!" Djaq screamed

"Am I?"

"You're going to say yes. Aren't you?"

"Well no. I've seen the ring now I won't be surprised. Then he'll know that I found it and didn't tell him and who wants to marry a secret keeper. And I'm rubbish at acting you saw me in the year 3 play I can't even pretend to be a tree. How can no-one pretend to be a tree?" Marian held back tears. She had single handily ruined her own dream. She wouldn't be able to cry in front of him as he showed her the dazzling ring for the first time. She wouldn't be able to shout at the top of her lungs 'YES ROBIN I WILL MARRY YOU!" to the world.

"Marian it'll be fine just calm down" Djaq held her shoulders and looked sternly into her eyes

"No I have a plan" her frown turning upside down as she spoke. It would be like The Parent Trap where nothing went the way they dreamed it would at first but with some tweaking of the plans it would end up with the same out come.

"You're going to say no?" Djaq said stepping back "Marian think before you answer like that"

"Who say's I'll be the one answering the question?" Marian grinned.


	24. Temptation

Robin and Sally sat in silence on the old red sofa in the house that smelled of cabbage and old cigarettes from when their father smoked.

"Sally why did you lie to me for all these years?" her mother asked calmly

"I didn't lie. If he wanted to come to the funeral he would have found a way" she argued

"Oh yeah I'll just walk back from Spain shall I?" Robin said

"You could have found a way of doing it if you really wanted to"

"I did want to. He's my own father and I'm sorry I missed it but what's done is done and mum knows I would of if I could now. No thanks to you that she wouldn't speak to me" Robin said in a childish huff

"Quite right" his mother agreed "now I don't like this subject so can we all agree to never speak of it again and hold on to the family we actually have left?" robin nodded still staring at the yellowing curtains

"Yes" sally said quietly

"Thank you" said the small grey haired woman as she sat back in her armchair. "Now as I recall this family is about to get a bit bigger" she turned to Robin inviting him to tell his sister of his plans.

"I'm proposing to Marian," he said rubbing his legs and forcing back a smile. Sally looked at Robin in amazement

"You are?" she questioned, "Is it because she's pregnant?" she joked. Robin gave her a slight punch, which earned a telling off from the old woman.

"No I love her. I always have" he smiled at his dream of the perfect wife a child whilst he defended their love. "Mum's going to meet her at ours for Christmas. You and Allan are welcome to come if you want" robin forced the last words out he hated that his sister was dating. He hated it more that it was his best friend. But if it was serious then he had no choice but to accept it.

"Who's Allan?" his mother wondered out loud. Robin laughed, as Sally would have to explain her love life. Their mother was very protective of Sally and each love interest of hers must be authorized through her first.

"I'll just let myself out," he said tiptoeing past the two women suppressing more laughter

"Hey!" his mother stopped him "give your mummy a kiss before you go" Robin obeyed and bowed out of the women's conversation before he was sucked into the vortex never to be seen again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

As she sat at her computer and pondered over the play list for the ball Marian's eyes were once again were found wandering over to the wardrobe that held the draw that held the box that held the ring.

"No" she said to herself firmly and stretched her fingers and went back to debating whether Michael Buble's Christmas Song should come before or after Christina Aguilera's Merry Christmas Baby. She hadn't seen the ring in 3 days. She couldn't risk Robin walking in on her trying it on.

What the hell? He had just gone out with the lads for a few rounds at the pub after seeing his Mum for the second time. The first time he came in looking quite shocked by the whole episode and decided he would need hard liquor to look forward to after another visit and he wouldn't be back for hours. One look couldn't hurt could it?

Marian bit her fingers in protest to them leading her to the wardrobe. Eventually she gave in. She decided she wasn't worthy to be labelled a woman if she said no to a diamond.

She was woken from her daydream of walking down the aisle wearing Vera Wang when the door slammed and the sound of 5 drunken men echoed up the stairs.

"Honey I'm home!" Robin's voice called up the stairs

"Come down and have a drink. Oh wait you're pregnant. Spoilsport" Allan's voice trailed off as Marian heard him go through to the kitchen probably in search of more alcohol. She thought she'd better go stop them but she didn't want to leave her fairytale. Reluctantly she closed the wardrobe to the box still sat in its place where Djaq had dropped it.

Marian joined them in a drink or two (hers being orange juice of course) and they all eventually fell asleep in the living room. She wrapped spare blankets around each of them before kissing Robin lightly on the lips and retiring to the dignity of her own bed.

She smiled as she turned off the lights. 4 days and counting.


	25. The Black And White Ball

Marian and Djaq frantically found last minute essentials. Phone, lip-gloss, blister plasters and shoved them into their clutch bags. The taxi beeped its horn for the third time and they ran down the stairs, one last check in the mirror. Hair and make-up touches then they were out the door and apologising to the driver for being late.

"No worries love" he reassured "you get used to waiting around for women after 30 years of marriage." The girls exchange looks of excitement as they drove off in search of an equally happily ever after for Marian as the taxi driver and his wife.

The guys agreed to meet the girls at the ball so Marian and Djaq gave directions for Alice's and Sally's house before their final destination. They each filed out one by one and each were adored by their respective boys.

Djaq in her black Sarah Jessica dress.

Alice in a black, high-waisted skirt and beautiful silk blouse that did everything for her amazing waist and made not so full breast look almost like double D's.

Sally wore a feminine tailored white suit with only a black tie to join the white jacket in covering her chest.

Marian was last to emerge and sported a floor length strapless white silk dress with beading around the empire waistline.

Robin stared in awe at his beautiful girlfriend so much so that Allan had to nudge him when Marian said hello and he didn't respond.

"She doesn't deserve me." Robin said to Allan as the girls walked away. It kind of reminded him of the boots adverts at Christmas. Here come the girls.

"You'll be fine" Allan reassured him as they walked a little way behind "just like we rehearsed ok?"

"Right" Robin took a few deep breaths

"Ok do you have it?" Allan asked for possibly the hundredth time that night. Robin just patted at his tuxedo jacket indicating to his inside pocket. "Right just remember you'll be fine. You deserve each other. We all saw how you acted in school together. It was meant to be" Robin ate every word and still didn't believe it. Allan was going to have to do it for him. He was too nervous.

They crossed the threshold into the hotel ballroom and we hit with a mass of black and white balloons then flowers and streamers, tables and chairs, even the carpets had been replaced. He couldn't see Marian anywhere. He just wanted to get it over with but it was all planned down to the last detail. He was handed a black Zorro type mask from the box of various mask at the front of the room.

"Great. A masked ball." He said thinking of all the films he saw when fights would break out because they had got the wrong girl whilst she was wearing a mask. He really didn't want that mistake.

All the girls were in the bathroom touching-up and chatting.

"So after I've sung, I'll ask him to come on stage and do my thing then …. " Marian motioned her hands in a kind of 'ta-da' movement.

"Right" Djaq smiled. The plan was perfect. He wouldn't suspect a thing.

"What's going on?" Alice asked wanting to be excited too. She hadn't woken up in the best of moods and needed something to brighten the evening or it would be a waste.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone because I wanted it to be a surprise but, I'm proposing to Robin tonight" the shriek that came from Alice at this point was defining. She jumped up and down and smiled and hugged everyone

"Marian that's amazing! Go you! Sally don't you think that's amazing"

"Great, that's great" she said doing her best to be happy but now knowing both sides of the story she wasn't sure what to do. She grabbed her feathered mask, excused herself and went in search of Allan. He would know what to do.

"Right ladies!" Marian grabbed Djaq and Alice's hand "show time"

She bustled her way though the crowd to the bar and found Will and Allan sitting and talking.

"It's about time you came out, the party will be over before it even begins" Sally ignored this and tried to keep her cool.

"Marian's going to propose to Robin tonight."

"What? I'm not being funny but Robin's proposing tonight"

"I know that why you have to do something," she said tugging at his shirt

"Right. First of all you need to just calm down" he said pulling her into a violent kiss. Sally staggered slightly from the blow but smiled "second. When is she going to do it?"

"She said after she has sung"

"And when does that happen?" Sally just shrugged. Just then a voice came over the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for attending this years annual Black and White ball of Walter & Walter" people cheered at the sound of their firms name. "Now to open tonight's events we have our very own Miss Fitzwater singing White Christmas"

"Shit" Sally and Allan said under their breaths. Marian came on stage she looked gorgeous.

"We have to go tell Robin," Allan said as the music started and Marian's voice filled the room sending shivers down everyone's spine.

"You can't it'll ruin everything"

"Sally he's already nervous enough do you think throwing everything out of order without telling his is going to help?" Sally didn't answer she knew they shouldn't tell him. It would ruin it for both of them.

Allan saw the pleading in Sally's eyes and caved. He thought how he might propose to Sally and if anyone gave the secret away he would be devastated.

"Not that I'm going to" he argued with himself silently.

"Fine we'll just sit here and watch the turmoil begin" they sat at the bar and listened as Marian finished her song. Everyone cheered and clapped and whooped. Robin stood in a dark corner of the room rehearsing his lines and trying to stop himself sweating.

"Thank you so much" Marian's voice came over the microphone "now I would like to ask a very special person to come up here with me. Robin?" she indicated to the figure in the shadows and a spotlight found him. He moved slowly towards the stage. A man in all in black handed him a microphone as he climbed the stairs.

"What does she want? No this isn't supposed to happen. She gets of the stage. I take her outside. We come back in we're engaged. Happily ever after" he was soon on stage and waved at everyone dimly and pulled Marian's arm to get off the stage but she stayed rooted to the spot. "Quick make a joke"

"Now as most of you know Robin and I are pregnant" the crowd below awed at them.

"We are?" Robin questioned. The crowed giggled and Marian nudged him in the ribs gently. At least it worked.

"So now as well as having perfect friends," she pointed round the room "and the perfect job. I'm only saying that because Jack's in the room." she whispered causing the crowd to giggle again "and the perfect house, I'll have the perfect baby" she smiled and held her slightly round tummy "but you know what? I'm still not happy"

Robin's mind clicked. This was it he would do it now. She had basically already said yes. Unless she was talking about wanting the perfect car. Oh shit. Ah well.

"I agree," he said into the microphone.

Marian smiled at Djaq standing in front of the stage to her right and swung round ending up on one knee. Eyes closed. As she opened them and looking up to Robin she couldn't see him. The crowd gasped and she looked down to see Robin also down on one knee.

Both gawked and spoke at the same time

"Robin … Marian" she bit her lip and he wiped his brow

"Will you marry me … me?" Marian started to cry and Robin's smiled grew wider

"Yes … yes" the crowd exploded with joy and claps and cheers could be heard in china. Marian blubbed and Robin picked her up and spun her round. He rummaged in his pocket. He produced the small blue box and opened it in front of her. Marian cupped her hand to her mouth and her took her other hand and slipped it on her finger.

"WE'RE ENGAGED," she told the world. More cheers and tears were heard around the room as Sally and Allan breathed a sigh of relief and shared in the romance with a kiss.

Marian proudly went around the room showing everyone the ring. She was stood with a group of girls from work, all congratulating her and saying this like.

"Look at the size of that" and "I wish it would happen to me"

Marian moved to the bar and saw Robin floating around he room talking to everyone with equal enthusiasm. She really wanted him. She was really horny. Just a quickie in the loos and she'd be fine. She laughed at her idea. But seriously she was going to shag the next living thing that touched her if he didn't get over here

Suddenly someone tapped on her shoulder and she spun round. "Can I buy you a drink?" His hear was greasy under his mask and his voice was that off some shoddy gangster film. She took back what she thought before but she was happy and wanted a little bit of fun.

"Just tell me one thing. Does your dick reach your ass?" she said cocking an eyebrow seductively.

"But of course" the masked stranger answered

"Then I suggest you go fuck yourself" she smiled, thinking she had done good to quote from Sex And The City the book, but it was soon wiped when he lifted the mask.

"A dance with the bride before I do?"

"Guy?" before Marian had a chance to respond she was being dragged across the room and onto the dance floor. Guy held her tight as they spun round the floor to some embarrassing 70's Christmas song.

"What are you doing here Guy?" she asked the whole excitement of the night had drained I a few short seconds but she was trying her best to stay upbeat.

"Little birdie told me you were pregnant. Why would you do that to me Marian?" he said quite calmly "Then get engaged to a man who proposes who did exactly the same thing. It confuses me Marian. What does he have that I don't?"

"You know I don't make it a habit to marry men that try to kill me," she said trying to sound confident but failing. At this Guy forced her out of the room and into a small corner of the lobby in that way that he could make people oblivious to what he was doing.

He pinned her to the wall with his huge hands and came face to face with her. "You know what I'm capable of when I'm angry Marian." He leaned in and whispered in her ear "you saw it with your own eyes" Marian shut her eyes tightly to block out the memories. She was engaged now. It was all about the future nothing to do with the past.

"Do you want to make me angry?" he said viciously "Do you want to see that man in there lying lifeless in a pool of blood? Because you know I can do it"

"No" she answered in a whisper holding back the tears

"No what?" he asked tightening his grip. She could face herself if she said it. It would mean going back all those years and re-living it only now he was angry with her and not someone else it was her neck on the line. No not her neck. Robin's. She didn't know which was worse.

"No Guy" she answered obediently eventually feeling another wave of horrific memories hit her mind

"Better" he said and pushed her into the wall with enough force to make her gasp

"I'll see you soon Marian. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding. Since I'll be the one waiting at the alter if you ever have one"

Marian collapsed to the floor in tears. But no one would ever find out what he had done. No one ever did with Guy. He was that type of man.

As she sat and tried to pull herself together the worst possible song came over the speakers. It was Auld Lang Syne. She collapsed again. She thought of how she should forget about Guy but couldn't and about Carrie running in the snow to Miranda's apartment when she was alone on New Years.

"_Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?"_

Like she could ever forget. How can you forget so many deaths? So many crimes. Made to stand by and watch. No escape. No control.

The rest of the ball went by a blur. She explained she felt ill and sat in a corner trying to crawl out of the darkness Guy had engulfed her in again. She did it once before she could do it again.

Robin came to sit beside her and she snapped out of her trance for a few minuets. He was her salvation. He had been there the first time she escaped. She found comfort in him and had learned to break the walls. But this time it was a vicious circle.

Go to Robin and get him killed then forced to go back to Guy.

Or cut out the middleman and go back to Guy straight away.

"You know what?" Robin asked her slightly tipsy. Marian smiled but wavered at the thought she would never see him again. "We should get married tonight. You bought a new white dress and I have this tux until tomorrow."

"I don't think they allow couples to get married when the groom is off his face," she said sweetly stroking his cheek.

"Your right" he said sighing "do they let couples have sex when the groom is off his face?" he asked like a little boy asking for candy. Marian just nodded as a lone tear fell from her eye.

"Hey what's this?" he asked letting it trickle onto his finger and examining it up close.

"I'm just happy" Marian reassured. Robin got up and walked round the table to Marian picked her up bridal style and carried her out the hotel into a waiting taxi. As they walked Marian saw Guy behind some bushes and the little happiness she had drained away again.

"Because you know I can do it," the words echoed in her head.


	26. To The Ends Of The Earth

**Lavender - i wondered where you had gone. i thought you had thrown yourself off a cliff for that last chapter lol**

The first day of secondary school is always frightening for any pupil and for Marian, Robin, Djaq, Much, John, Allan and will it was no exception. They sat in their assigned classroom waiting for the teacher with their other classmates, each at a different desk since they didn't know each other. Whilst waiting, Robin, Much and Will had got to talking and agreed to become friends. John and Allan were soon to follow. Marian sat by the window and decided to join a lonely looking girl at the front to try and make friends. The girl introduced herself as Djaq and they were soon talking about school, family and boys.

The gang of boys had already analysed everyone in the room and decide the two girls sat at the front were the hottest of the lot. As soon as the bell rang for the end of registration Djaq and Marian compared timetables and found they both had history together and were walking out the door. A young Robin seized the opportunity to talk to one of the girls he particularly liked.

"Hey watched where your going" Marian rubbed her arm as she was pushed into the wall

"Sorry didn't see you, did you want to swap insurance details? Name? Number? Marital status?" Robin asked leaning on the wall in front of her, blocking the path.

"Freak" Marian answered ducking under his arm and walking away with Djaq.

"She so wants me" Robin reassured the gang as they watched them walk away.

After 3rd period was lunch and Marian and Djaq had found a bench to meet at since they had different teachers for maths and had no one else to sit with. Marian walked towards the far end of the yard and was relieved to see the bigger kids were sat on the other side but she till had to walk past them.

"Hey baby fancy a shag" an older boy with greasy hair asked her. Marian was shocked. She had never been spoken to like that and didn't like it at all. "I'm Guy, king of year 9 you might hear about me around. Don't forget the name" Marian hurried over to the bench almost in tears of what she heard. She sat down and took a few deep breaths before the rude boy from this morning was by her side.

"Piss off" if you can't beat 'em join 'em

"That's not very nice," he said pretending to be hurt "I was just going to say hi and I'm sorry for before. I was kind of a jerk" Marian was shocked that he would give her an apology but she accepted "and if you want you and your friend can come and eat lunch with us. We scored a great place on the field."

"Erm ok thanks"

"I'm Robin by the way," he said holding out his hand "Robin Locksley"

"I'm Marian, Marian Fitzwater. Please don't laugh at the stupid name" she took his hand to shake but he kissed it gently

"Why would I do that milady?" Marian blushed

"Sorry I'm late I got lost again" Djaq came up looking flustered "what's he doing here?"

"Djaq this is Robin, Robin this is Djaq" she introduced them and he took her hand like her hand Marian's

"Charmed I'm sure" Djaq answered giving Marian an approving look of the gentlemanly quality of him.

"Robin asked if we would like to join him and his friends for lunch"

"Lead the way" Djaq said hoping there were more where he came from. Marian and Djaq followed Robin as he escorted them over the field to the waiting boys.

"Much, John, Allan, Will, this is Marian and Djaq" he pointed around the circle "Will has a thing for you" Robin whispered in Djaq's ear. Instantly her face blushed and so did his. He had noticed her in geography that morning but it would take three years for him to work up the courage to ask her on a date.

They all got on famously and on the way home Marian was walking by herself as Djaq got the school bus home. She was remembering the events of the day and smiled as she remembered the flirting she did with Robin and the fact he insisted he walk her to every lesson even if it meant being late for his own.

"Need a bit of company?" his voice came from behind her

"Are you going to follow me everywhere?" Marian asked amused by his persistence.

"To the ends of the earth" he took her hand and walked her home.


	27. The Christmas Carols

**Well I've come to a brick wall. And the frustrating this is I know what's on the other side and it AMAZING (in a way) but I don't know how to get around it. It's all kind of a blur. But I promise I will think hard about it. Atm something involves Calamity Jane and a certain episode of gossip girl but nothings set in stone lol. Well there you are. Enjoy my lovely's.**

Christmas day and couples all over town lay in their beds exchanging presents.

One particular couple in bed happened to be having the best Christmas ever. They had no need for presents, as they were quite content with what they had, each other, a growing family and nothing to get in the way. As Marian thought of this she was reminded of the photo of Charlotte and Tray for House and Garden magazine when they looked like the perfect married couple in their pre-war Park Avenue apartment. When in reality she was living there alone and they were separated. Only in her and Robin's picture only Marian knew a cloud was looming. She quickly discarded the thought as she realised there was no rain yet. _I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas._

Djaq reached under the bed and retrieved a box beautiful decorated. Will opened it and found a light green thin soft jumper. It was perfect, so him. Will thanked and kissed her before reaching under the pillow and produced a smaller box than the first but girls know the best things come in small packages._ Joy To The World The Lord Is Come._

Much lay in bed sighing that he was to spend another Christmas alone. Everyone was pairing off and no one had even invited him to dinner. He flicked through the channels on the T.V before giving up and switching it off all together. No one to exchange gifts with, an empty bed and a cold house. '_Tis The Season To Be Jolly._

Another couple ate breakfast in each other's clothes. It was a dare the night before based on an idea of 'let's play a drinking game with Christmas Eve television and every time someone says the word Christmas we down a shot each.' That was Sally and Allan's idea of a good Christmas. They laughed about recollections of the night before over the breakfast bar and kissed coco pops at each other. _Ding Dong Merrily On High._

He sat in the dark. It wasn't Christmas. Just another day. Without her. She couldn't see it. The feeling inside. He could barely see it himself. She needed to see. He had to make her. He would make her. The only way he knew how. The other one would just get in the way. Get him out of the picture first. Then she'll come. It would take time. But it was something worth waiting for. _And A Happy New Year._

John came down for breakfast lovingly prepared by Alice. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and sat down for Christmas breakfast with the woman he loved and the pancakes he loved. He could die right there, a happy man. _Joyful And Triumphant. _


	28. Phone Calls

**I broke my brick wall lol**

Marian woke up the next morning with a start. She was dreaming about it again but at least she had actually slept that night. She sleepily walked to the bathroom bumping into the laundry basket on the way. As she walked in the room rubbing her thigh she looked in the mirror and rubbed her face. She hadn't taken her make-up off from the day before and she had terrible panda eyes. She reached for the face wipes and noticed something in the sink

"Oh that's nice," she said groggily. She picked up the item with her thumb and forefinger and held it at arms reach before taking it back to the bedroom. "Hey Locksley" she flopped on the bed, pulled back the sheets and kicked him with her foot. "I have no idea what you were doing with this" she waved the used condom above his face "but kindly do not leave it in the sink its unsanitary" Robin looked from the dangling condom to Marian.

"That's not mine" and he turned back over and scratched his bare chest. Marian screwed up her tired face.

"Well where did it come from?"

"Oh Allan came round after he visited his parents yesterday I think he and Sally are still downstairs" Robin yawned. Marian screamed and dropped the item immediately

"Robin that's gross" Marian squealed

"No what's gross is it's on your pillow" Marian shook her hands and jumped up and down as if doing so would get the germs away "Marian it's only a condom go put it in the bin" Robin picked it up and threw it at her.

"Robin that's your sister's…. and Allan's…no I can't even say it its too gross" Marian bent down and picked it up. This time only a tiny bit of the latex touched her skin and she stretched her arm as far as it would go.

"Oh thanks for putting that on my mind." Robin slammed his head back on the pillow.

Marian walked downstairs and into the living room to see the couple watching Boxing Day T.V.

"Although I am thrilled that you two are perfectly comfortable with having sex in my house I would prefer it if you used the bin as a disposal unit and not the sink" Marian held it up in front of them and they both laughed like some school children being told off.

"Sorry Marian it won't happen again" Allan said taking it out of her hand and growing through to the kitchen.

"It's fine I'm just glad you using protection I could of done with one of these a while ago" she said calling after Allan and looking back to Sally laughing.

"I think I'm going to go wash my hands with bleach. No offence"

"Non taken" Sally held up her hands.

Marian went into the kitchen where Allan was putting on the kettle.

"So it seems you two are getting along nicely"

"Yeah I think it's going really well," Allan answered in a whisper Marian just smiled. The phone rang and Marian picked it up

"Hello? …. Djaq? … Wait calm down what's wrong? … Ok I'll be right over?"

"What's wrong?" Allan asked

"Nothing, I don't know she's really upset" Marian ran upstairs got dressed and ran over to Djaq's

"Djaq, Djaq it's me open up" Marian banged her palm on the door. It opened to revile a small tear stained Djaq. "Oh Djaq what happened?" Marian pulled her into a hug

"He left" Djaq sobbed

"Who? Will? Did he break up with you?" Marian asked shocked. How could he do this? They were s in love.

Djaq shook her head and led Marian into the living room. "He just left like it was a normal day. Like every day. Like every day we had together since '96"

"Ok Djaq what actually happened?" Marian sat her down wanting to get to the facts of the matter.

"This happened" Djaq produced a small box from her pocket and showed it to Marian.

"Oh Djaq he didn't" Marian said excitedly getting up and smiling broadly but then wondering why Djaq had broken out in tears again. "Oh he didn't did he?" Marian sat back down and opened the box left beside her. Earrings. Not a ring. Djaq shook her head.

"What have I been doing wrong for the past 12 years? 12 years Marian! People would kill for our relationship. So why hasn't he proposed yet?" Marian rubbed Djaq's back.

"Come on sweetie you know what he's like. It took him 3 years to ask you out on a date but that doesn't mean he didn't feel what he feels for you know then. He just needs time." Djaq didn't respond "or you could just propose like I did. Well yours might actually go to plan" Djaq laughed weakly "is that a smile I hear?". Djaq raised her head and nodded. "It's not going down hill is it?" Djaq shook her head "and your happy with Will?" Djaq nodded again.

"But it's just…" Djaq wanted to argue her case more but Marian cut in

"Ah!" Marian held up her finger. "Save it for Oprah. Now come on it's Christmas. We should be happy so we are going to watch…" Marian went over to the cabinet and fished around for a DVD. "West Side Story. Your favourite" Djaq smiled as Marian put it in the player and pressed various buttons.

Some time later both women were dancing around the room to 'I Feel Pretty'.

"See this is you and Will" Marian showed Djaq how happy she could be without a ring on her finger. "Except no one dies," Marian laughed. They both collapsed on the sofa when the song had finished. "Oh my back. Oh my god listen to me I only have the slightest bump and I'm complaining about my back. These next 7 months are going to be hell."

"You'll be fine" Djaq smiled and touched her rounding belly "you been to any appointments yet?"

"No. I hadn't even thought of that. I should call." Djaq and Marian smiled and the conversation turned to babies.

Marian came in a few hours later.

"Honey I'm home" she called. Robin came through to greet her. He kissed her nose and took her coat. "Djaq said we have to make some appointments abut the baby in the next few weeks so I'll call the doctors when there open ok?"

"Sounds like fun. Oh someone called for you about 2 hours ago." Robin said.

"Oh who was it?" Marian asked following him back into the living room.

"Someone called Guy, he said you knew each other a few years ago. He left a number, it's on the table," he pointed back to the hallway.

"Oh" was all Marian could say. Guy had called her house. Robin had answered. What did he say? Did he know? Would he tell? "Did he say anything else?"

"No just if you could give him a call when you had a chance" Robin said casually flicking through the channels "so who is the guy?

"Oh Guy? He's no one!" Marian sat down next to Robin

"Oh ok. What was up with Djaq?" Robin asked putting his arm around her and kissing her head.

"Nothing. I think I'm going to go for a walk" Marian could have got up faster grabbed he small piece of paper from the table in hall and her coat and left. Robin looked on in shock. But brushed it off and just said plainly to himself

"Women!"

Marian walked as fast again. Just to get away. She didn't know what from but she had to. She turned corner after corner until she found a pay phone. She inserted the coins and dialled the number on the paper. It rang and rang and rang. She was about to hang up when he answered.

"What the hell are you doing?" Marian snapped. "You called my house what the fuck are you thinking?"

"Marian good to hear from you. I trust you're taking my advice." Marian didn't answer for a while anything she said from now on would be filed away for Guy to use against her at a later date.

"Yes Guy" it was like being stabbed again and again. She hated that she was under his thumb.

"Good just wanted to make sure I didn't have to clean my gun anytime soon. So when are you coming back to me?" Marian tensed all of her body. Just hearing his voice brought back the worst memories.

"You have to give me time to sort this all out. Just promise me you won't do anything"

"I will if you will" Guy answered

"Fine just leave me alone for now. I'll call you ok?" Marian waited for an answer before hanging up.

"You have all the time in the world. I know you'll see sense soon enough. Just don't take one more step with him Marian because I will know about it and believe me I will sort it out."

"Yes Guy" she felt dirty. Like the years were coming back. Like she was 19 again.


	29. Confessions In A Doctor's Office

The next week came around Marian and Robin were sat in the waiting room ready to have their first appointment with the doctor.

"That baby is so ugly" Robin stated rather loudly pointing at a poster on the notice board Marian elbowed him in the arm. "What? It is. Our baby better not be like that," Robin said jokingly threatening her.

"Miss Fitzwater" the receptionist called "Dr Green is read for you now."

"Thank you" Marian got up and Robin followed behind wondering why he came to sit on some uncomfortable chair in a weirdly smelling office while his fiancé is prodded and poked with various instruments. Marian knocked lightly on the door and entered.

"Ah Mrs Fitzwater come in have a seat" the doctor shook her hand "And you must be Mr Fitzwater how do you do?"

"Oh we're not married" Marian said rather deliberately. She looked to Robin who raised his eyebrows "erm what I meant to say is we're engaged. He's Mr Locksley, I'm Miss Fitzwater" the woman looked slightly confused as she looked between the couple.

"Well congratulations on your engagement" she finally said and they all sat down. "Now Miss Fitzwater before we get started I'd like to ask you a few questions" she looked at Marian and she smiled and nodded. "Right. Will this be your first child?"

"Yes" Marian said beaming. Doctor Green scribbled at a form before looking up again

"So this is your first pregnancy?" Marian's smile disappeared, as she all of a sudden felt very uncomfortable.

"No" she said quietly Robin sat up more in his chair as she said this. Marian didn't look at him but at the floor but she could tell that his eyes were on her. She couldn't cope.

"And how many times have you been pregnant before?"

"Twice" Marian answered trying to look like it didn't bother her. For Robin it was like taking a bullet.

"And these were miscarriages or abortions?"

"Abortions" Marian said loosing any kind of fake confidence she had gathered before. Robin thought he might die.

"And when were these two abortions?" Marian twisted her hands as she tried to concentrate on dates.

"Erm… erm… one would be in 2000. The other in 2003" her mouth was drying out and she couldn't look at Robin for the life of her.

"And were they for reasons of health or…" the doctor glanced at Robin but he was staring at Marian "…otherwise"

"Otherwise" Marian said quietly through watery eyes. Robin got up and left slamming the door behind him. He knew what 'otherwise' meant. It meant that the man who got her knocked up wasn't bothered with her when it happened and it was him. Twice. As he walked across the car park he clenched his hands to stop him punching a window and kicked a tyre instead. He got in the car and started the engine.

"Well I can't just leave her. That's what got her into the mess in the first place. Dumb-ass" instead he put the radio on and waited for her to come out.

Marian stood up to leave and apologised for the actions of her fiancé but didn't go into details of anything. She closed the door and sighed, wiped some stray tears away and straightened up. She walked across the lobby and out the door into the car park. He was still there which was the silver lining. She got in the car and did her seatbelt. They didn't speak all the way home.

Marian opened the door flung her keys on the table and press the button on the answering machine to get their messages.

"You have 2 new messages. Message 1 received today at 10:33am," the automatic voice informed

BEEP "Hey you lovebirds" Allan's voice filled the hallway. "Well I don't know what to do for my birthday. If you've forgotten it's in a week" he added with a laugh "well I just wanted Marian to give it a think she's pretty good at that stuff so give me a call bye" BEEP

Marian raised her eyebrows. Like she had nothing better to do. She took off her coat and hung it up. Robin did the same and walked through to the living room. Marian stood waiting for the next message

"Message 2 received today at 11:14am"

Robin slowly walked back through "I'm going to…"

BEEP "Hello Mari…" Marian launched at the machine and hit a button

"Message deleted" the robot woman told them. Marian looked to Robin who watched in shock.

"What?" Marian asked trying to look innocent

"Who was that?" Robin cocked his head towards the phone.

"No one" said Marian. Robin raised his eyebrows he knew she wasn't telling the truth. "What?" Marian said in a high-pitched voice. Robin just gave a look as if to say 'oh fine don't tell the truth because I know you're lying but hey I'm only your fiancé' and walked back into the living room

Marian just sighed and excused herself from nobody in particular. She sat in the bath and pressed her eye sockets into her kneecaps.

"_Why would he call again?"_ Marian thought to herself _"would it be important or just to psyche her out?"_ Marian ran her figures through her hair _"I cant be bothered to think about it anymore"_ she threw her head back and splashed the water as she submerged herself in the water and came back up to surface. She lay there for a minuet just watching the steam rise from the water. _"What am I going to do?"_


	30. La Vie Boheme

**So by my notes there's about 10 chapters to go and for my sake as well as yours I have put dates at the start of ever chapter just so we know where we are. Ok? Great. lol**

_**Saturday 10**__**th**__** January 2009**_

Marian sat on the bedroom floor, pen in hand and a catalogue by her feet. Her and Robin hadn't spoken since last night and she desperately wanted to patch things up. She noted down a green wrap maternity dress and turned the page. The door pushed open and Robin came into sight. Marian smiled and he smiled back.

"Erm… I was just thinking… if… erm… you had thought anything of Allan's party?" Robin asked obviously finding any excuse to bridge the gap too.

"Oh yeah." Marian clicked her fingers repeatedly to jog her memory "I won a table at the new restaurant in a raffle at work we could all go there if you like?" Marian said standing up so he could at least kiss her or something.

"Sure sounds good" Robin said clutching the door still "what's it called?" he let go of the door and carried on the conversation.

"La Vie Boehme" Marian said stepping forwards slightly. Robin looked confused as he sometimes did which made her weak on her feet. She rolled her eyes in pretend annoyance and fiddled with her computer until the sound of a piano and voices filled the room

"_Who died?"_

"_Our Akita"_

"_Evita!"_

"_You make fun - yet I'm the one attempting to do some good. Or do you really want a neighbourhood where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta, Bohemia is dead" _

Marian just looked at Robin as the man spoke ready to sing

"_Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes."_ Marian held out her palms to address the imaginary congregation_ "Here she lies," _she crossed her arms on her chest_ "no one knew her worth, the late great daughter of Mother Earth." _Marian held up her hands to the world _"On these nights when we celebrate the birth. In that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass - you bet your ass to - La vie Boheme"_

"_La vie Boheme. La vie Boheme. La vie Boheme. La vie Boheme"_ she clicked her fingers in time and stood on the bed

"_To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad. To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension, not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad. To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes, to Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice, to any passing fad. To being an 'us' for once, instead of a 'them'. La vie Boheme"_

Robin stared at her whilst trying to register each word that was leaving her mouth as fast as lightning. God how he loved when she sang.

"_To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou. Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, creation, vacation, mucho masturbation"_

Robin smiled as she acted to each reference.

"_Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new, to Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo. Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage, Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage! To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too. Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow, to blow off Auntie Em. La Vie Boheme"_

Marian jumped off the bed and carried on dancing on the floor

"_Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antoniont Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana. To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy. Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC. To no shame, never playing the fame game. To Marijuana! To sodomy, it's between God and me To S&M. La Vie Boheme_"

Marian pressed pause. "And that my friend is La Vie Boheme" she said bowing for her audience. Robin still looked confused.

"Is it like their theme tune or something?" Robin asked. Marian hung her head and laughed.

"It's from RENT dumbass" she flicked his head and fell onto the bed.

"Oh you did not just flick me?"

"You got a problem with that?"

"I think you're the one with the problem now" Robin took off his shirt and jumped on the bed with her. Marian screamed with laughter until he was hovered over her. She played with his hair then kissed him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered trying to hold back the tears

"Shh, I'm the one that has to be sorry" he kissed the forehead while she still played with his hair. "But it's in the past. All I want to concentrate on is here and now. It's all over" he kissed her again then got off the bed. "You want a cup of tea?" Marian pulled herself up on her elbow and nodded. They exchanged smiles and Robin left.

"That's just the thing though Robin it's only just beginning" Marian whispered and let the tear fall once more.

**Ok sorry about the song but I just got RENT on DVD and I'm like in love with it now lol. Hope you liked it. Please review, I'm quite nervous for the upcoming chapters. xxx**


	31. Hurt Him To Save Him

_**Sunday 11**__**th**__** January 2009**_

The trolley wheels squeaked and threatened to veer out of control as it was pushed down the aisles of the supermarket by Marian. Scooping various items into the trolley absent-mindedly she smiled at the thought of the future with her little boy or girl. Her fantasy was soon interrupted with a tap on the shoulder. She looked up from the box of Betty Crocker's Devil's Food Cake to see Guy sanding there.

Out of habit she looked around to see no one was watching them. The rest of the shoppers all seemed to have disappeared.

"What do you want?" she whispered

"Why didn't you return my call?" Guy asked calmly but Marian seemed to be getting crushed under him.

"I deleted it. I heard your voice and Robin was in the room so I just hit the button." Marian said turning away and putting the box back on the shelf.

"I thought as much." Guy laughed, "So how is the scum?" Marian clenched her teeth and refused to answer, instead busying herself with the various boxes and packets on the shelf. "Here I got you a present" he pulled out a mobile phone and handed it to her. Marian was about to speak but he cut her off "so we don't have any accidents" he raised an eyebrow "like in the old days" he whispered and walked down the aisle and out of sight.

Marian stood in a trace clutching the phone. It had been 7 years and she had blocked it out of her mind when Guy came and rammed it back in. She left the trolley and ran to the car. Ran away. She was shaking with fear.

"Robin! Robin!" Marian ran through the house screaming his name "Robin!"

"Maz I'm here what's wrong?" Robin said coming out of the kitchen. Marian was out of breath and fell into his arms

"Oh thank god you're ok," she said kissing him

"Of course I'm ok what's going on?" Robin said looking her in the face. No he was asking questions it was too dangerous.

"Nothing I'm just being paranoid" Marian said trying to back pedal as fast as she could

"Maz what's going on?" robin asked again

"Nothing really its nothing I'm just tired and I haven't had much to eat" she hugged him to maybe change the subject though she didn't know how it would help.

"What's this?" Robin took the phone out of her pocket and examined it "this isn't your phone" Marian look at the phone and then to Robin. Shit.

"Erm… that's my…. Work phone" at least she was good at thinking on her feet

"Why do you need a work phone?" Robin asked turning it over in his hands

"Well… some of the girls have families and if someone were to contact them on the house phone it could wake the kids" score one

"Because the office is going to call them in the middle of the night?" Robin asked. Marian just looked at him.

"Well sometimes we're all out but still need to keep in touch. It really works as well we don't know how we coped without them," Marian said beaming. Score two

"Oh I see" Robin said still playing with it "and if you use it so much why do you have no contacts?" he said turning it round and showing her the screen.

The only thing it said was "new entry"

Marian panicked. She was out of ideas she just stared at robin he heart racing.

"Do you want to tell me why you really have this?" Robin asked handing it back to her. She took it and looked at it and was silent. She didn't have a master plan now she was just silent. "I'm going to bed" he said and walked upstairs even though it was only 5 o'clock.

Marian sat up watching Sex And The City in the living room when at about 10 o'clock Robin came downstairs. He came in the living room and stood at the doorway. Marian turned off the TV and looked at him.

"Robin…" Marian began but he held up his hand.

"What's going on with you Marian?" he asked, "it's like ever since we got engaged you don't want to talk to me. Whenever I asked you about anything you just say 'it's nothing'" Robin walked around to stand in front of her. "You didn't want to tell me about Djaq or the weird phone call you had on Boxing Day or why you walked around the corner to the payphone to make a call. You never told me this could be our third child. You delete messages, for the reason that I can only assume is, you don't want me to hear. You come in screaming thinking I've died or something and now mysterious phones that you lie about. Marian just tell me what's going on," he said bending down to be at her height.

"I can't" Marian said quietly trying to hold back the tears

"Are you sure?" Robin held her hands. Marian closed her eyes and nodded. Robin let go of her hands and kissed her head before walking out of the house into the night.

When she heard the door close Marian broke down. It was like Moulin Rouge.

"Hurt him. Hurt him to save him"


	32. It's Impossible To Love You

**Monday 12****th**** January 2009**

She had fallen asleep crying and woke up to the sound of her alarm coming from upstairs. She swung her legs around and climbed the stairs sleepily. The bed hadn't been slept in which meant he hadn't been home. Marian sighed and got ready for work.

**Tuesday 13****th**** January 2009**

44 hours since Robin had left the house. It had been a normal day at work but Marian was slowly dying inside. If he didn't come home soon she didn't know what she would do. He hadn't called, he could be anywhere. She hadn't had any contact from anyone at all. Like they had all just dropped off the edge of the earth.

A knock on the door woke Marian from her game of 'what if?' She got up and ran to the door.

"Robin?" she asked before she even had a chance to see who it was.

"Hi Marian"

"Oh hi Much. Come in" she said sounding disappointed. "If you're looking for Robin…"

"He's not here. I know" Much said finishing her sentence for her.

"Well what can I do for you?" she asked leading him into the living room "can I get you a drink or something to eat?" Marian patted at her face trying to remove two days of tears.

"No thanks actually Robin sent me" Marian turned her head and widened her eyes. She was about to speak probably asking tons of questions but Much cut her off "he's been staying at mine. He asked me to come for his stuff" Much said quietly. He hated being the messenger but whatever had been going on was obviously huge for Robin to move out.

She would of died right there. They would find her weeks later half eaten by Alsatians. She tried to speak but couldn't breathe as she slumped into a chair. She was shaking and looked at Much as if he could act on behalf of Robin and give her mercy. Instead he just gave her an awquad hug.

"I'll just…" he said quietly trying not to put his foot in it and shuffled up the stairs. Marian sat staring at the carpet. Thinking everything. Thinking nothing. She couldn't tell.

Much eventually came downstairs with a suitcase of Robin's things. He walked into the living room and saw Marian looking broken and small. He hated to see two of his friends like this. He silently prayed that everything would be ok.

"I'll come round tomorrow for the rest" he said quietly. Marian just nodded. "And he asked me to give you this" he fished in his pockets and pulled out a CD. Marian stood up and brushed the tears away.

"What is it?" she asked taking it and tapping it on her hand.

"I don't know he just said make sure she listens to it" Much looked at he wanting her to put it on so he would know what it was.

Marian stopped tapping and looked at her hand. The ring was catching on the edge of the case and she threw the CD onto to sofa and ripped it off her finger. She stared at it and handed it to Much.

"No. He said you had to keep it. It's yours" Marian gave a shaky smile to the ring and slipped it back on. She kissed it hard deliberately making sure Much saw. He just nodded without a smile and left. Marian bowed her head and flopped onto the sofa. She remembered the CD and walked over to the stereo. She opened the clear plastic case and put in the unmarked disc. She hit play and stood waiting for something to happen.

**Play something for me Alicia...**

She knew this song.

**There you go Chris' what's up?**

**I just got something on my mind**

**Speak on it girl**

**It's impossible**

**It's impossible to love you**

Oh god no.

**If you don't let me know what you're feeling**

**It's impossible for me to give you what you need**

**If you're always hidin' from me**

She let the tears fall fast but didn't make a sound.

**I don't know what hurt you**

**I just, I wanna make it right**

**Cos boy I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind**

**It's impossible**

**Oh baby it's impossible for me to love you**

**This way**

**It's impossible**

**Oh baby it's impossible**

**If you makin' it this way**

**Impossible to make it easy**

**If you always tryin' to make it so damn hard**

**How can I, how can I give you all my love, baby**

**If you're always, always puttin' up your guard**

**This is not a circus**

**Don't you play me for a clown**

**How long can emotions keep on goin' up and down**

**It's impossible**

**Oh baby it's impossible for me to love you**

**This way**

**It's impossible**

**Oh baby it's impossible**

**If you keep treating me this way**

**Over and over**

**Impossible baby**

**If you makin' it this way, this way**

**Oh baby, it's impossible**

**If you makin' it this way**

The song faded and Marian closed her eyes tight.

**Play something for me Alicia...**

It was on repeat. She clenched her teeth and kicked the stereo. If fell on the floor and disconnected from the wall. The house was silent again. Marian looked up and to her right. They stared back at her. That happy couple from Alton Towers. She grabbed the photo frame and smashed it against the hearth. She took some quick deep breaths and swiped her hand across the mantel causing the contents to smash on the floor joining the photo frame.

She ripped curtains from rails and picked up the vase from the windowsill and smashed it at her feet. Grabbing a cushion from the sofa she sunk her nails in breaking the zip and splitting it at the seams sending feathers flying. She spun the empty case across the room, tripped and fell to her knees in uncontrollable tears. Swatting away the debris with her legs and arms she laid on the floor and fell into an uneasy sleep.

Her feet twitched as she slept.

_Running out the house and down the street after him._

Marian gasped as she automatically sat up and woke from her sleep. She looked around as her eyes adjusted and groaned. Now he mood was different. It wasn't sad and it wasn't furious. She was just plain pissed. Pissed at Robin at Guy and at herself for letting it all happened it the first place.

She brushed some feathers off her lap and ran upstairs. She grabbed a holdall and started stuffing the rest of Robin's stuff in it. She flung it off the bed and down the stairs over the banister. She followed it and kicked it into the destroyed living room. This was her life now. A mess. And she couldn't see a vacuum insight that would clean it up.

Marian put her hands on her hips and breathed deeply. She would not cry. She would sort it out. She saw the broken face of the clock that was still ticking. It was 6:30 she might as well get ready for work.

A few hours later there was a knock at the door. It was Much again she told him to go through to the living room as she ran back upstairs. Much walked through and saw the devastation.

"What the fuck?" he whispered to himself. Marian cam running down the stairs again fiddling with some earrings.

"Well that's the rest of his stuff," she said pointing to the bag

"What the hell happened Marian?" Much said ignoring the direction. Marian smiled.

"Do you really want me to tell you?" Marian asked crossing her arms. Much just nodded.

"Alcohol. That's what happened"

"You've been drinking?"

"No. But you see when I'm upset I like to have a drink to numb the pain and the fact my fiancé just moved out causes me a lot of pain however combined with the fact that I am carrying my, now 'ex', fiancé 's child means I can't have a drink so I smash things instead" Marian smiled as she finished. She could let him know she was dying inside. Much just looked at her. He would probably never understand what went on with them and just accepted everything the two sides told him as truth. He reached down and picked up he bag.

"Is there anything I can do?" he offered before leaving

"No there's nothing" Marian bowed her head "no there is one thing," Marian remembered. Much just smiled in acceptance. "Don't tell anyone" Much shook his head.

"I wouldn't dream of it" and he closed the door behind him.

It was another day of just getting to the end of the day at work and Marian fell on the sofa with a cup of tea and Steel Magnolias. No sooner was M'Lynn hacking into the armadillo cake she was interrupted by some background noise. Marian looked around confused. That wasn't the TV. She paused it and the noise carried on. She followed her ear and stuck her hand down the side of the sofa. She pulled out Guy's phone and saw it had a new message

"Meet me Saturday. Old Phoenix Steel Warehouse. Midnight." It was just like the messages began to leave 8 years ago. Day. Place. Time. History was already starting to repeat itself.


	33. Gossip Girl

_**Wednesday 14**__**th**__** January 2009**_

"Come on mate. Shouldn't you at least get dressed?" Much stood at the door to the living room of his house which had inadvertently become Robin's bedroom and kitchen. A sleeping bag was crumpled at one end of the sofa with Robin at the other.

He was huddled into a ball clutching a carton of chicken chow mien and the TV remote. His pyjamas were stained and his beard was scruffy and not in a sexy way. He hadn't had a shower since he left and spent his days sat watching TV with take-out and beer.

"No. I'm to depressed for clothes" Robin shovelled some more cold food in his mouth and followed it with a swig of beer. He finished the can and threw it across the room to the growing pile.

Much sighed as he looked around his former living room. They were both dying and the only cure was each other. Much couldn't see the problem but he didn't want to risk asking again. He last time he had Robin had thrown a shoe at his head. He rubbed it as he thought of the consequences again.

"I know you two had a fight. But she's really upset over there and your upset here." Robin narrowed his eyes to Much "I'm just saying I don't know what happened and since you are slowly taking over my house I think I have a right to know." Much held his head high as he spoke. Robin held up the shoe and Much retreated to his bedroom.

Marian drove back from another 'just get through it' day of work. She hit traffic and wondered what was holding everything up. She saw diversion signs and turned around. She knew a short cut anyway.

As she drove through the nearly empty streets she glanced at passing houses absent-minded when a large building to her left caught her eye. Her eyes widened as she pulled the car over and jumped out. Marian walked around the car and stared up at the illuminated building against the black night.

Mayfield High School. The start of it all. Marian looked around and crossed her arms over her chest. She walked through the gates and onto the deserted playground. Walking over to the bench to where her a Djaq were have meant to have dinner she held back tears of nostalgia.

As she sat down she saw children playing, teachers chatting with their cups of tea, the stoners trying to shoot up slyly behind the bike sheds. She smiled and it was gone again. A breeze came from the other side of the playground and sent shivers down Marian's spine as it connected with her bare skin. She looked around as she rubbed her arms.

This was the start of it all. If she hadn't of got lost and come from the wrong end of the playground she wouldn't have met Guy for the first time and from that point to this could be written differently. She sighed and put her head on her knees. Uncontrollable sobbing, she contemplated the options.

Find something tall with something sharp at the bottom of it – slightly drastic

Try and live life without Robin – impossible

Get out – that's going to be hard.

She felt warmth near her and looked up to see a 12-year-old Robin sitting next to her.

"Just tell someone." He said. She smiled and nodded to the figure before it vanished from her mind.

Marian rose up and ran to her car. Driving frantically towards his house and crying her eyes out she finally arrived and pounded at the door with all her strength.

Nicky opened the door and Marian fell inside.

"Marian what the hell happened?" he asked getting her to her feet. She was shaking and lent against the wall for support. She felt sick but she just had to let it go.

"Marian what's going on?" his voice was calm and concerned. Marian breathed heavily and held her hands to her face; she shook her head and collapsed to the floor. "Come on Marian you're staring to scare me." He heaved his sister over his shoulders and set her on the stairs. "Now tell me what is going on." Marian shook her head again.

"I can't tell you, because then you'll be a part of it and you can't be a part of it" Marian grabbed at his top "promise me you won't be a part of it"

"Marian, tell me what's wrong nothing bad will happen. I promise" Marian opened her mouth to speak but backed out and turned and clung to the banister in desperation for the strength to tell him. Anyone. Nicky pulled her back round.

"Marian were brother and sister, there is nothing you can tell me that will make me let go." Nothing came out of her still "I love you" just a shake of the head "what is it?" Marian looked up to Nicky with her watery eyes and tear stained face.

"I killed someone"

**mwahahaha lol **

**I know I'm evil but basically the whole last bit was nicked from Gossip Girl (if you've ever seen it you probably saw that coming) so that bit is partly theirs but it links with the story anyway.**

**I am mean lol**

**Love you and sorry again but I had to. xxx**


	34. Party Minus One

_**Friday 16**__**th**__** January 2009**_

"Are you coming to Allan's party tonight?" Much said sighing at the state of the place as he entered the living room on his return from work.

"No" Robin said not looking away from the TV. He stuffed more Doritos in his mouth a carried on "she'll be there" her voice disgusted him. During the days since he left he had thought long and hard about what she could be hiding. She must be having an affair. For revenge of what he did almost 4 years ago now. Bitch.

"You don't know that. She could have a meeting at work or something?" Much offered his suggestion but Robin gave him a dirty look and said

"She organized the party dumb ass." Much was really angry now. He had put his friend up when he was homeless who had now overstayed his welcome and was abusing him in his own home. Much huffed and puffed but gave up and walked to phone. Mumbling to himself he dialed Marian's number. It rang and rang but no answer. He left a short message and hung up. He fished in his wallet for her mobile and tried again.

Nicky followed the faint sound to Marian's bag that had been thrown to the floor two nights previous. She had been in bed almost since she came and he would make her breakfast, lunch and dinner. They hadn't talked at all about why she had come here. He just accepted it. He was her only family now and she needed help.

Nicky bent down and found the mobile singing away and took it upstairs to Marian.

"Marian you're phone is ringing" he said quietly. She turned over and held out her hand for it. She pressed the button and held it to her ear. Nicky left the room and went to make breakfast.

"Hello?" she said sleepily. "Oh hey Much. How are you? …. I'm good thanks … oh no I'm fine I'm just erm out. Oh dam, sorry I forgot I have that erm meeting I have to go to … so he can go to Allan's party if he wants … ok bye" Marian hung up and dropped the phone on the bed and tried to get back to sleep.

That's what it would be like from now on. Making sure the other wasn't there at a party so they could go. What would happen to the baby? Would he even care? She'd be a single mother and get dirty looks from old grannies in the street. Well no one else knew at the moment so at least that was a plus. She wouldn't have to deal with comforting chats over endless cups of tea that "it'll be alright", "men are bastards anyway" and "he's not even that good looking".

Robin, Much, John, Alice, Will, Sally and Allan all sat at the long table in the fancy new restaurant waiting for Djaq and Marian to arrive so they could order. They silently flicked through the menus and exchanged short conversations on the subject. Just when Allan was about to through a tantrum on the fact he was so hungry and it was his birthday so he should be able to order. Djaq trotted past tables towards them. Everyone smiled at the sight, as it was one step closer to ordering.

"Sorry I'm so late the traffic is still unbelievable where the road works are." Djaq kissed Will on the head and gave Allan his present. "So are we ready to order? I'm starving" Djaq sat down and took the menu off Will.

"Just waiting for Marian" Allan said sighing

"Marian's not coming" Robin said quietly from behind his menu but everyone heard. They exchanged glances and put their menus down waning to know the reason for her absence though no one actually enquired. Djaq leant forward

"Is she ill?" Robin peered over the top of his menu

"No. I moved out" Robin went back behind his menu not wanting to look at anyone. The table was silent until Djaq noisily got up and threw her napkin at Robin before running out and hailing a taxi to Marian's.

When she got to the door she asked the driver to wait. Djaq banged on the door with all her might and shouted at it.

"Marian it's Djaq open up" she banged again and opened the letterbox. "Marian I heard about Robin please let me in we need to talk." Djaq sighed and looked at the house. All the lights seemed to be out so she left a message on the answering machine and went home.

"Robin Marian's not at home. It's getting late I'm worried about her." Djaq talked into the phone by her bed

"Erm ok…" Robin thought he shouldn't feel anything at the news seeing as she was probably out at another blokes house but deep down he still flinched when he heard her say it. "I'll keep a look out for her"


	35. Postit Notes

_**Saturday 17**__**th**__** January 2009**_

It would have taken all of 6 hours to relive the worst day of Marian's life. She was already at the beginning of the end of her nightmare after she had fallen asleep watching the morning news. She tossed and turned and flung her feet as she ran down the street in her mind. The nightmare carried on until she bolted up screaming

"Danny! Danny!"

She flipped her hair back and clawed at her chest looking for the red liquid that oozed from the body. But she had left it in her dream.

Her heavy breathing slowed as she realised where she was but turned to tears quickly. She hadn't dreamt of it in a long time and refused to since Guy had shown his face at the black and white ball, but today was Saturday. That inevitable day. She had expected this would happen. Like it was a sign from him telling her that he would be waiting to see her at the end of the day.

She heard footsteps on the stairs and wiped away the tears and tried to straighten up.

"Are you ok? It sounded like you were having a nightmare" Nicky said stood at the door in only a pair of pjamer bottoms and a 3 day old stubble effect to his chin.

"I'm fine" Marian lied and turned away.

"Come on sis I hate to see you like this. Why don't you just tell me what is going on. I'm really worried about you" Nicky sat down on the sofa and rubbed her back. The time Marian had been there they didn't discuss much about what she had said. Nicky didn't even know if it was true. She had almost collapsed after the episode and he took her upstairs to bed. She told him about Robin leaving and begged him not to call. She had fallen asleep and with her put the idea of her distant past to bed. But now it was too much for him. He had to say something. He could see it was killing her.

"Come on we haven't talked about this and we need to. Marian I'm your brother if you can't talk to me who can you talk to. Just talk to me please"

"No!" Marian snapped, "There's nothing to talk about." Nicky left the sofa made two cups of tea and left one beside Marian before returning to bed. What the hell was he going to do?

Marian sat with her tea and pondered life. It hadn't been all that bad. She could remember the good times. And when she left she wouldn't be missed. Well some people might but not Robin. He would be glad to she the back of her. She smiled and she thought how happy he would be then he could go and find a perfect wife with a spotless past and who didn't keep secrets and they'd have a perfect family and live in the country with lots of dogs.

She placed a hand on her abdomen and sighed. She wouldn't have been a good mum anyway. She wouldn't be able to cope on her own. Admittedly she had looked forward to raising a family with her soon to be husband, who wouldn't? But maybe it was better this way.

8pm and Marian headed for a shower. Afterwards she peeped her head round Nicky's door and saw he was fast asleep. By the time she was dried and changed it was 9. 3 hours to say goodbye to the world. She packed up her things from the spare room quickly and crept out of the house.

Marian pushed the door to her bedroom and looked around. It was dark and perfectly straight from when she had left it on Wednesday morning. She flicked the switch and everything illuminated. Out of habit she turned on her computer, put on iTunes and turned the volume up. Maybe to drown the thoughts out.

She looked around the room. How to say goodbye?

A note? A letter? A video?

She had so much to say. To everyone. Especially Robin. Maybe he didn't love her anymore but there was so much left to say. She grabbed a block of pink post-its and began scribbling.

_Alton towers_

It was a memory. A great one and he would know that she was still thinking of him. She ripped it of and stuck it to the wardrobe door. Meanwhile her computer had caught up with Marian's demands and burst into life.

_Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you._

Why the hell was there a song for every situation she was in? It was like her life was a musical. She scribbled again and stuck it on the wardrobe

_Watch RENT_

_The music saved me_

_Remember Hairspray_

_The first day of school_

_Celine Dion_

_Everything I do_

_I will always love you_

_It's all coming back to me now_

_Thunderstorms_

_First dates_

_Nights in_

_We had fireworks_

_I'm sorry it's impossible_

_You're my Mr Big_

_Mable_

_I'm sorry_

_Photos_

_You wouldn't last a week_

Tiny memories filled the wardrobe in a mass of pink paper. Anything that would show she had been here. The song played again. It was on repeat. She took one more post-it and placed it on the bedroom door before closing it. A glance at the clock in the living room said she had 2 hours. She got in the car and drove.

_Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats._

His hand swung as he moved in his sleep and hit the bedside table.

"Ow fuck!" he cursed and he sat up. Nicky snorted and stretched as he descended the stairs. "Marian I was going to get take out do you want anything?" he shouted through to the living room. No answer. "Marian?" the duvet was still on the sofa so he went upstairs. "Marian?" She wasn't in the bedroom either "shit!"

The phone rang in the house barely able to be heard over the music. If anyone were there to hear it.

"Hey. It's Marian. I'm shoe shopping" the recorded voice picked up

"Marian are you there? Pick up. Where are you? You didn't leave a note or anything. Come home" he hung up.

"Shit" he dialled again.

Robin's phone vibrated on the floor.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rob. It's Nick" he spoke awquradly. He knew what had happened between him and his sister and that Robin would know he was only calling to talk about her. "Look Marian's been staying here for a bit but she's gone and she hasn't left a note and she's not picking up at home. So could you go round and see if she's there" Robin knotted his eyebrows together and felt a pang in his chest of concern. Marian would never do something like this.

"Consider it done" he hung up and called Djaq

"Djaq I know where Marian is"

"Where?"

"She was staying at her brothers except he thinks she went home but she's not picking up"

"Shall we go round?" Djaq asked knowing it was what he was thinking anyway.

"Yeah I'll get you on the way" they hung up and he set off in Much's car.

They arrived at the house and saw the light on in the bedroom from the street.

"Marian!" Robin shouted opening the door "Marian!" music came from the bedroom and he followed it. He saw a note on the door in pink

_I love you._

The music faded.

What the hell was going on? He pushed the door open and saw the whole wall covered in pink post-its with Marian's scribbles on them. Music started up again.

_Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you._

It's just like Marian to say what she was feeling through song. But why was she saying it now? Where was she? What was going on? He walked towards the notes and looked at them.

Memories, feelings, reminders, goodbyes. Why goodbyes? You only say goodbye when you're not coming back.

"Where is she?" he turned to Djaq whose face was shock and fear. She shrugged. "Get the others. We need to find her."

_Without you, the stars roar the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you. The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you._

She sat in the car in an empty car park of the 24-hour supermarket. She had time to kill though she wished she hadn't. It was scary waiting for it to happen. Wondering what would happen anyway. She had been listening to jazz on BBC Radio 2 for an hour and a half. She had just 30 minuets left and she was wasting them here. Fuck of a life this was.

Robin sat on the bed listening to the song over and over and thinking of all the possibilities. And it was his entire fault. The rest of the gang arrived. Will, Much, John and Allan. They all saw what had happened and were all concerned for Marian.

"So the lights were on when you came in?" John asked trying to figure things out in his head.

"Yeah but no-one was home"

"A bit like Much" Allan laughed at the easiness of the joke. The others didn't.

Robin's phone rang again. "Robin I found something I think you should be worried about"

"What is it?"

"Well she kept saying her past was coming back and all this crazy stuff. I don't even know if it's true. But if it is she's in deep trouble."

"What did you find Nick?" Robin asked his mind a mess of confusion

"I found her phone. Except it's not her phone but there's a text that say's she has to Meet someone Saturday. Old Phoenix Steel Warehouse. Midnight. That's all it said. Robin I'm really worried for her"

"Right" he hung up "let's go"


	36. Running Out Of Time

**Hope you like it. I was shaking writing it lol xxxx**

_**Saturday 17**__**th**__** January 2009**_

She drove as fast as she could out of the car park. A sudden burst of adrenalin told her to. When he beckoned she came running. It was 8 years ago. She didn't know which poor soul would be waiting for her. Someone who couldn't pay Guy the drug money he owed. Someone that had pissed him off. Just someone to make an example of, she didn't know. What she did know was she was running. Running for her life.

She stopped the car outside an old warehouse. She would of laughed at the corniness of the situation if it were a film. But his was no film it was life. Life or death.

Marian walked into the warehouse and saw Guy standing a few feet behind a body knelt of the floor facing him, bound and gagged by the looks of it. She walked further into the warehouse. Just wanting to get I over with. Just to go and have nothing to do with anything ever again.

"Ah Marian glad you could make it." Guy turned when he heard the footsteps. He was dressed head to toe in black, his self appointed uniform and was holding a handgun quite casually in his left hand. He walked towards her and kissed her hard on the mouth. Marian sneered. The slap happened so quickly she didn't even realise it had happened until it began to sting.

"Now about Locksley, to my recollection I told you not to take another step with this man and you have disobeyed me"

"We haven't" Marian said, tears prickling her eyes. Guy just placed a hand on Marian's bump

"What do you call this?" Marian pushed his hand away. He didn't respond.

"What do you want from me Guy? He's moved out. He doesn't love me anymore because of you. I'm here now. With you. That's all that matters. Just leave him alone," Marian cried.

"And this" Guy said ignoring her and taking her hand "if he doesn't love you anymore why are you still wearing his ring?"

"Fine if that's what you don't want fine" Marian took the ring off and threw it at the other end of the warehouse. "He's gone and you want to fight over jewellery?"

"You remember when you were to chicken to shoot that Guy in the red jacket?" Marian just nodded. She knew what he meant. "Well are you too chicken shit for this?" Guy placed the gun in her hand and turned her body to face the man on the floor.

"Now do it!" Marian looked at Guy in horror, he just raised his eyebrows. She had to think fast. People would be looking for her. They would find the car. They could be outside right now. It was his only chance. Marian gulped deliberately and held her head up high to show it didn't bother her.

She waked forward and bent down placing the gun to his temple. She pressed the side of her face against the frightened young man so it looked like she was giving him the last hug of his life and whispered so quietly it was almost silent

"When I turn around run don't argue I'm sorry" she kissed him on the cheek and stood up. She pointed the gun at him and held it for a few seconds to make sure he was looking at her when she turned away. She shifted her feet and spun to point the gun at Guy and heard footsteps behind her as the man ran for freedom.

"It's over Guy. You can't do this anymore. You have me here and that's all you wanted. So why is it still not enough. Why do you still have to make me get rid of the ring and now the baby? Will it ever be enough Guy?"

"Marian put down the gun"

"No! Not this time Guy. I never wanted to be with you. But I am now. Because I love him. I love Robin. And I'm doing this for Danny as well. I won't let it happen again. Not what you did to Danny. If I came here I knew you'd be happy and leave Robin alone. You won't take another man from me like you did with Danny" Marian was shaking and tears poured down her face "but you have anyway. Because of you he doesn't love me anymore. Once again Guy you got your way. Are you happy?"

"Don't taunt me Marian" Guy warned

"And you know what?" Marian raised her eyebrows. This was the time to let everything go. "The rumours that I had those abortions without telling you…" Guy's eyes widened. She said they weren't true and she was never pregnant with his chid in the first place "they're true" she whispered.

Guy reached into his pocket, pulled out another gun and held it up. "Put the gun down Marian"

She held her breath and loosened her grip on the object. It fell to the concrete floor and the sound echoed through the large space. "Will it ever be enough Guy?" she whispered as a final tear fell.

Two cars roared through the spaces between endless concrete and metal boxes. Once colourful signs that had been faded by time flicked past but Robin didn't think they weren't going by fast enough. He pushed his foot down further and it hit the floor.

"Robin slow down your no good to her if your dead" Will said from next to him

"Yeah Will well I'm no good to myself if she's dead" Will didn't know if what he said even made sense but he knew what he meant. He didn't have anything if he didn't have Djaq.

"Djaq marry me," he said turning to the backseat.

"What?" Robin and Djaq said together

"I know it took me forever but it's been on my mind for all these years I couldn't do anything without you so marry me" it was the hardest but best thing he had ever done in his life.

"Yes" Djaq smiled and they stared at each other with overflowing happiness. The car jerked as Robin slammed on the brakes and flung the door open. He ran down the small alley and saw a man trying to get out of the blue ropes that tied his hands together using a sharp piece of metal.

"Where is she?" Robin yelled as he kept running. The man nodded in the direction of a small door in the wall of the building. Everyone made there way to the door but stopped dead when they heard the sound.

A gunshot

"MARIAN!"


	37. Tying Knots

**Sunday 18****th**** January 2009**

"Will it ever be enough Guy?" she whispered as a final tear fell.

Guy gripped the gun tighter as he it pointed at her. His hand shook as he held the item up in the air.

"I love you Marian," he said, a lone tear falling. Marian's face turned to sadness as she saw the man that had once stood so tall over so many men now crumbled as the deep emotions he had had all along came spilling out. He lowered the gun and staggered backwards into the shadows and Marian stepped forward to follow but her other leg seemed glued to the floor. Like it knew what was going to happen next.

"I'm sorry" he lifted the gun again and fired.

"Djaq call 999" Robin shouted instructions as the gang ran in through the door. "Marian" he whispered as he saw the body on the floor. The rest of the gang stopped running as the saw the sight. Robin looked up from the body on the floor to the body staring down at it.

"You bastard!" Robin yelled as he launched towards him pushing him to the wall not releasing his shoulders. He looked into his eyes.

"Marian?"

He looked to the body in the shadows, the gang stood nearby unable to react. She glanced back at Robin, mouth open but unable to speak or breath until it was too much and she fell to the floor. The gang moved forward and Robin laid her down.

"Danny? Danny?" she asked through flickering eyes

"Marian shh it's me. It's Robin. Everything's fine. Someone call 999!" he looked to the gang and looked back at his maiden. "Marian, Marian don't leave me please. I die without you" Robin held her hand tight to try and keep her conscious.

"You heard the song?" she smiled weakly.

"Yes" Robin smiled back. There were no words to describe his happiness.

The blinking helped. She could focus on the white and it felt like she was doing something productive though it gave her a headache. She felt someone else touch her skin and turned her head. It was a mass of blue against white until she blinked more and focused in.

"Ah your sleeping beauty awakes." The tall woman with short blonde hair dressed in blue said, smiling over Marian's body to her left. Marian followed her eye-line and found Robin in a chair, legs over the armrest just waking up from a restless sleep.

"Maz. Oh Maz. How are you feeling?" Robin leant forward and took her hand in his.

"Tired" she said slowly "I want to go home" Marian said trying to go back to sleep but failing.

"Well we need to keep you in a bit longer, especially with the little one" Marian's free hand sprang to her swollen abdomen. Flashbacks of the night came back and she tightened her grip on Robin's hand in fright. Robin immediately knew what she was thinking and reassured her.

"Marian come on it's fine, everything's working, no broken bones, the baby's healthy, they just want to make sure"

"Guy?"

"Shh everything's alright now. He can't hurt you where he is now."

During the day the whole gang came to see her. They joked about stuff and did everything to draw away from the fact of why she was in a hospital bed.

That night she was able to go home with strict orders to not over exert herself in any way. As Robin led the way into her house she felt safe but uneasy. He mind was a complex machine that was beginning to overheat. So many questions filled it. Would he stay here? Is he coming back to live? Will he still live with Much? Will we get back together?

Robin ushered her to the sofa and sat her down. He went to make tea and when he came back Marian was still in the same position he hand left her in. sat right n the edge of the sofa, hunched forward and a few belongings clutched to her stomach, staring into space.

The only sound was the clock ticking as they sipped their drinks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Robin said eventually. He had never been the listening kind but he would want to talk about it if something like this had happened to him and he wanted to be there for Marian if he needed her.

She didn't reply. She didn't need him.

"So you think that for time that you went away my life just stopped and you could just jump right back on again." Marian said after a long time of thinking exactly what to say.

"Loads of stuff happened. Stuff that I didn't want to happen because you weren't here. Because that song is true I do die without you. I nearly did. You just left my life and I had no choice with what to do. You're my knight and you weren't there to catch me. As soon as you came back it was perfect that's why you didn't think anything had happened. I jumped on your saddle and rode away. When I left for college and we split up, that's when everything went wrong. Saw Guy, got me into all this stuff. Then there was Danny" a small smile came across her face as she remembered her lover.

"Danny was … Danny was perfect. He'd kiss me goodbye in the morning go to work for 9am be back for 5pm. I'd make him his dinner, watch crap on TV and go to bed. Perfect day everyday"

"Until one day Guy called. Like he would always do now and then. He said he had another job for me. It was always the same. Drop this off here. Give someone a message. So I picked up the phone and Danny did too, only I didn't know" her smile faded

"This time it was secret. 'Meet me at this place now. Don't ask don't tell. Be prepared.' He said. Next thing I knew the door had slammed and I saw the car speed round the corner as I ran down the street. Danny had gone to sort it out. He wanted to protect me but by the time I got there it was too late." Her voice broke.

"I didn't think he could do it. I didn't think he would. Guy got mad and said I shouldn't have told anyone and he deserved it. He got sent to jail and I never saw him again."

Marian looked at Robin and gave him a knowing smile. "And then there was you in that bar. And for two years my life was shit. In a good way for once. In an unexplainable, indescribable, unexpected way. And then you left. My life was dead. I still went out with the gang. The odd one-night stand from being way too drunk but something was always missing. Then you turn up at my door, dripping wet. It was perfect. Imperfectly perfect. Until we got engaged. That night Guy came and said if I took one more step with you he'd kill you. And I knew he could. I had to hurt you to save you."

"The call on boxing day was when it started. I had to go to the payphone so you wouldn't hear and do what Danny did. They weren't your babies they were Guy's. I deleted the message so you wouldn't here what he said because I never know what he'll say. And guy gave me the phone so that wouldn't happen but then I got paranoid that he had already done something because he wouldn't want to save your arse and that's why I came in screaming" Marian tried to catch her breath

"Any more questions?"

"Marian I'm so sorry" Robin leaned in to hug her and she accepted and broke down in tears on his shoulder

'It's all over now" she reassured herself. She broke away from the hug and wiped her nose on her sleeve "I know I'm supposed to give the ring back but I threw it at Guy. I'm sorry."

"Well we'll just have to get you a new one. If you want one that is" Robin and Marian sat in the house that was filled with warmth again. A huge smile grew on Marian's face and her eyes filled with tears of happiness for the first time in a long time.

"I'd love one" they kissed and fell asleep on the sofa together. There was so much or nothing at all to be said. It didn't matter and all that mattered was they were together and even though so much had happened to them, it only made them stronger.

**Ok that was rubbish but hey what you going to do?**

**So I guess one more chapter until the sequel. Tell me if anything didn't make sense during this whole thing and I've missed any loose ends and I'll tie them for you because I have a feeling I've missed something and have had to keep going back to check so let me know. Ok lovelies**

**Xxxx ly**


	38. Got So Far To Go

**Ok, so i know i promised the last chapter then the sequel but literally just after i posted the last chapter i dropped my laptop and the screen smashed and i've literally just got it back from the laptop hospital and this is the first thing i did lol.**

**ok so sorry and enjoy.**

**hope you don't hate me!**

**xxx**

**helen**

_Hey old friend, let's look back _

_On the crazy clothes we wore _

_Ain't it fun to look back _

_And to see it's all been done before_  

Marian sang from an armchair in Djaq's house. The stereo was only quiet but she could not mistake the beat. When the rest of the gang recognised what it was they all joined in.

_All those nights together _

_Are a special memory _

_And I can't wait for tomorrow _

_Just as long as you're dancing next to me  _

_Cause it's so clear _

_Every year _

_We get stronger _

_What's gone is gone _

_The past is the past _

_Turn the radio up _

_And then hit the gas  _

It was a "let's-plan-Djaq-and-Will's-wedding-but-we'll-really-just-drink-while-Djaq-does-all-the-work-because-she-won't-let-anyone-else-do-anything-party"

_Cause . . . I know we've Come So Far _

_But we've Got So Far To Go _

_I know the road seems long _

_But it won't be long 'till it's time to go  _

_So, most days we'll take it fast _

_And some nights lets take it slow _

_I know we've Come So Far _

_But baby _

_We've Got So Far To Go  _

Much got up and danced while everyone laughed until he reached for Marian's hand. It was her due date in a week and she could hardly move from the chair. People had to bring her drinks all night and she was not about to get up and danced though everyone had a different idea. All the men grabbed her arms and pulled her to a standing position willing her to dance.

_Hey old friend, together _

_Side by side and year by year _

_The road was filled with twists and turns _

_Oh but that's the road that got us here  _

_Let's move past the bad times _

_But before those memories fade _

_Let's forgive but not forget _

_And learn from the mistakes we made_ 

Marian, Robin, Much, John, Alice, Allan, Sally and Will were all in the middle of the floor dancing and singing away. For all the memories. Djaq however was still on the sofa going through leaflets for venues trying to ignore the noise and choose place settings.

_Cause it's so clear _

_Every year _

_We get stronger _

_So don't give up _

_Don't say when _

_And just get back on the road again  _

_Cause . . . I know we've Come So Far _

_But we've Got So Far To Go _

_I know the road seems long _

_But it won't be long till it's time to go  _

_So, most days we'll take it fast _

_And some nights lets take it slow _

_I know we've Come So Far _

_Oh but baby, baby _

_We've Got So Far To Go  _

Marian shuffled over to her and wiggled her pregnancy boobs at Djaq who laughed so hard her wedding planner book fell off her lap and onto the floor. She jumped up onto the table and sang at the top of her voice with everyone else

_Hey old friend come along for the ride _

_There's plenty of room so jump inside _

_The highway's rocky every now and then _

_But it so much better than where I've been  _

_Just keep movin', at your own speed _

_Your heart is all the compass you'll ever need _

_Let's keep cruisin' the road we're on _

_'Cause the rear view mirror only shows what's gone, gone, gone  _

_Cause it's so clear _

_Every year _

_We get stronger _

_So shine that light _

_Take my hand _

_And let's dance into tomorrow land  _

_Cause . . . I know we've Come So Far _

_But we've Got So Far To Go_

Marian winced as the pain ran through her body. She gasped and lowered herself back into the armchair.

_I know the road seems long _

_But it won't be long till it's time to go  _

_So, most days we'll take it fast _

_And some nights lets take it slow _

_I know we've Come So Far _

_Oh but baby, baby _

_We've Got So Far To Go_

Everyone stopped singing and crowded round Marian who had screamed in pain.

"Baby what's wrong?" Robin asked holding her hand

"My waters just broke"

**Tada lol.**


End file.
